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Short Blonde Jokes

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said "Look at that dog with one eye!"

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and goes, "Where

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off.

by (few years ago!) / 587 views
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Sport jokes

Where do football directors go when they are fed up ?The bored room !

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

The racecar driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face.

"What's the matter! Didn't I satisfy you when we screwed?" he asked.

"It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble," said the angry woman. "In your sleep, you felt my tits and mumbled, 'What perfect headlights'. Then you felt my thighs and murmured, 'What a smooth finish'."

"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver.

"Nothing, but then you felt my p**sy and yelled, 'Who the hell left the garage door open'?"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?A: All you can eat, under a buck.

by (few years ago!)
UPSETTING THE STEWARDESS

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, "And get me a coke, you cow!"

The stewardess, flustered, brings back a coke for the parrot and forgets the coffee.

When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another coke dogface!"

Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another coke but still no coffee.

Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee! Go and get it now you old goat!"

The next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards.

Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, "For someone who can't fly, you've got some guts!"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why do blondes drive BMWs?A1: Because they can spell it.A2: Because they can spell BWM.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

The next batter got up and made his hit. The fans again cheered, "RUN! RUN!" The Irish man jumped up yelling, "Run laddie! Run laddie!"

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

How do barmen surf the web?On the Gin-ternet.

by (few years ago!)
Madonna, Britney and Christina

Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony.

Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says "I’m going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy."

Not to be outdone, Britney ripped $1000 bill in half and threw it out the window, saying, "Look, I just made two people really happy."

Not even noticing Britney’s stupid move, Christina bragged, "Look, I’m going to throw 1000 $1 bills and make a lot more people a little happier."

At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can’t stand it anymore, comes out and says, "I think I’ll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 250 million people happy.

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game that would be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the Heavenly Host and the devil's own hand-picked boys.

"Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But I hope that you realize that we've got all the good players and the best coaches."

"I know, and that's all right." Satan answered unperturbed. "We've got all the umpires."


by (few years ago!)
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