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Short Blonde Jokes

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said "Look at that dog with one eye!"

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and goes, "Where

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off.

by (few years ago!) / 564 views
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Similar Jokes

blonde jokes

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero, when Tiffany, a blonde woman, got off work late one night. She managed to make her way to her car but wondered how she was going to make it home. Tiffany sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation.

She finally remembered her daddy's advice: If she got caught in a blizzard, she should wait for a snowplow to come by and then follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snowdrift. This made her feel much better.

Sure enough, in a little while a snowplow went by and Tiffany started to follow it. As she followed the snowplow, she was feeling very smug because she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.

After quite sometime had passed, Tiffany was somewhat surprised when the snowplow stopped, the driver got out, came back to her car, and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was alright, as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine, and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.

The driver replied that it was okay with him and she could continue if she wanted-- but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to K-Mart next.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the womans face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldnt graft the skin from her body, so the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor found suitable would have to come from his rear end. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the womans new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you d id for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." "My darling," he replied," think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

What about the blonde couple that gave birth to twins?

Her blonde husband is currently out looking for the other man.
Some guys are just born losers. A blonde fellow at my job was all worked up about this hot girl he had dated twice before. But today, he had stated that it was all over. So, I asked him why.

The blonde guy said, "Well, on our last date, we went over to her apartment, and she turned all the lights out after dinner. So, I got up and left, because I can take a hint just as well as the next guy

by (few years ago!)
FUN! FUN! FUN!


A teacher said to her little student Suzy, "Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry."

Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply, "Let's see... Fun period ... fun period ... fun no period ... worry worry worry!"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?A: They both have black roots.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

A Christian man had just died and was on his way to heaven. When he got to the gates of heaven he met an angel. The angel asked him what Gods name was. Oh thats easy, the man replied, His name is Andy. What make you think his name is Andy? the angel asked incredulously. Well, you see at Church we used to sing this song Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How did the blonde try to kill the bird?A: She threw it off a cliff.

by (few years ago!)
A THEORY OF CREATION


God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years."

The mule answered, "To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was so.

Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years."

And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much. Please, no more than 10 years." And it was so.

God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years."

And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years." And it was so.

Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years."

And the man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 30 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected." And it was so.

And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 30 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like an idiot to amuse his grand children.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes" the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didnt have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says for the sick."

by (few years ago!)
Zoo jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?Stop playing it cagey!

by (few years ago!)
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