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The World's Best blonde jokes

One of the largest collections of dumb blonde jokes on the internet (Dumb Blonde Jokes Link)! The Queen Mother of all blonde jokes sites. Whether it is Christmas, New Years, April Fools Day you are sure to laugh at the hilarious jokes contained within this site.

Use the links to the left to choose your collection of blonde jokes. We are the only site we know of that has taken the time to categorize our jokes. Please note this is not meant to be twisted humour, just good clean fun.

Some jokes may not be appropriate for Little Johnny, and we would rate this page PG-13. We don't intend this site to be nasty, rude, tasteless or for that matter cute. We consider this page a tribute to all the beautiful blondes out there who have made our lives worth living.

Most jokes are one-liners, while other jokes are long. We find these blonde jokes to be good clean humour. So come laugh along with us, as we present the World's Best Blonde Jokes!

by (few years ago!) / 561 views
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Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."

Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

by (few years ago!)
Budding Artist

Little Johnny drew a fly on the class grade book. It looked so realistic, that when Miss Baker saw the fly sitting on the notebook, she slammed it with a ruler. The fly didn't fly away. So she slammed the book once again, again the fly didn't fly away. This drove Miss Baker really mad, so she started to pound the book with the ruler and, as a result, the grade book became a bunch of torn sheets of paper. With the class laughing, she realized what had happened. Then Miss Baker called Little Johnny's father to school. "You see what your son did to our class grade book?" she said.

"That's nothing." replied the father. "Last month, he drew a naked woman on a fence and for two weeks straight I was pulling splinters out of my dick."

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Yeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God. During dinner he told them: I need three important people to send my message out to all the people: "Tomorrow I will destroy the earth."Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them: "I have two really bad news items for you:1) God really exists and2) Tomorrow He will destroy the earth."Clinton called an emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them: "I have good news and bad news:1) The GOOD news is that God really does exist2) The BAD news is, tomorrow He is going to destroy the earth." Bill Gates went back to Microsoft and very happily announced: "I have two fantastic announcements:1) I am one of the three most important people on earth2) The Year 2000 problem is solved."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine?He made a spectacle of himself.

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes

When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.

by (few years ago!)

These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells "I don't serve strings in this bar..."

The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders... The bartender shouts, "Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?"

String says "Yeah."

Bartender says, "aren't you a string?"

String says, "No, I'm a frayed knot..

by (few years ago!)
Good and Bad News

An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"

Patient: "Well, give me the bad news first."

Doctor: "You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left."

Patient: "Oh no! That's awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this??"

Doctor: "You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you."

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank.The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a ________."Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.Making sure the professor wasnt watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. "Pssst. Tiny. Whats the answer to the last question?"Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadnt noticed then he turned to Bubba. "Bubba, youre so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM.""Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now."He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Tinys should er again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?""You are really dumb, Bubba. Thats so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who hijacked a submarine?A: She demanded $200,000 and a parachute.

by (few years ago!)
Taliban TV

Only available on Sky Digitaliban.)

06h00 G-Had TV.
Morning prayers.

08h30 Talitubbies.
Talitubbies say "Ah-ah". Dipsy and Tinky-Winky repair a Stinger missile launcher.

09h00 Shouts of Praise.
More prayers.

11h00 Jihad's Army.
The Kandahar-on-Sea battalion repulse another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels.

12h00 Ready, Steady, Jihad!
Celebrities make lethal devices out of everyday objects.

12h30 Panoramadan.
The programme reports on Americas attempts to take over the world.

13h30 Xena: Modestly Dressed Housewife.
Xena stays at home and does some cooking.

14h00 Only Fools and Camels.
Dhal-Boy offloads some Chinese rocket launchers to Hamas.

14h30 Green Peter.
The total of Kalashnikovs bought by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed.

15h00 Madrasah Challenge.
Two more Islamic colleges meet. Bambah Kaskhain asks the questions.'Starter for ten, no praying.'

15h30 I Love 629.
A look back at the events of the year, including the Prophet's entry into Mecca, and the destruction of pagan idols.

16h00 Question Time.
Members of the public face questions from political and religious leaders.

17h00 Koranation Street.
Deirdrie faces execution by stoning for adultery.

17h30 Middle-East Enders.
The entire cast is jailed for unislamic behaviour.

18h00 Holiday.
The team go on pilgrimage to Mecca. Again.

18h30 Top of the Prophets.
Will the Koran be No.1 for the 63,728th week running?

19h00 Who wants to be a Mujahadin?
Mahmoud Tarran asks the questions. Will contestants phone a mullah, go 'inshallah', or ask the Islamic council?

20h00 FILM: Shariah's Angels.
The three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover to expose an evil scheme to educate women.

21h30 Big Brother.
Who will be taken out of the house and executed this week?

22h30 Shahs in their Eyes.
More hopefuls imitate famous destroyers of the infidel.

23h30 They think it's Allah over.
Quiz culminating in the 'don't feel the Mullah' round.

00h00 When Imams Attack.
Amusing footage shot secretly in mosques. The filmers were also secretly shot.

00h30 The West Bank Show.
Arts programme looking at anti-Israel graffiti art in the occupied territories.

01h30 Bhuffi the Infidel Slayer.

02h00 A book at bedtime. The Koran. Again.

by (few years ago!)
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