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The World's Best blonde jokes

One of the largest collections of dumb blonde jokes on the internet (Dumb Blonde Jokes Link)! The Queen Mother of all blonde jokes sites. Whether it is Christmas, New Years, April Fools Day you are sure to laugh at the hilarious jokes contained within this site.


Use the links to the left to choose your collection of blonde jokes. We are the only site we know of that has taken the time to categorize our jokes. Please note this is not meant to be twisted humour, just good clean fun.

Some jokes may not be appropriate for Little Johnny, and we would rate this page PG-13. We don't intend this site to be nasty, rude, tasteless or for that matter cute. We consider this page a tribute to all the beautiful blondes out there who have made our lives worth living.

Most jokes are one-liners, while other jokes are long. We find these blonde jokes to be good clean humour. So come laugh along with us, as we present the World's Best Blonde Jokes!

by (few years ago!) / 570 views
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Similar Jokes

Marriage jokes

Attorney to witness: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?"Witness: "Where am I Cathy?"Attorney: "And why did that upset you?"Witness: "Because my name is Susan."

by (few years ago!)
Microsoft in Detroit?

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1000 mi/gal." Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?" and also noted the following consequences of GM imitating Microsoft:


1. Every time they repainted the lines on the
road you would have to buy a new car.
2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept
this, restart and drive on.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would
have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought
"Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as
fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which
would make their cars run much slower.
7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general
car fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.
10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Teacher: Why do you want to work in a bank, Alan? Fred: Cuz theres money in it, sir.

by (few years ago!)
THREE BASSKETBALL FANS


Three baseball fans leave the stadium after a game and come across a dead, naked woman lying in the middle of the street. After they call the cops, they each take off their baseball caps and place them on the dead woman out of respect and to cover her private parts until the cops arrive.

The first fan places his Boston Red Sox cap over her left breast, the second places his Phillies cap on her right breast and the third fan places his Yankees cap on her pubic area.

The cops finally arrive, and the officers take statements from the fans to find out what happened. After explaining that they found her naked and covered her up with their caps, the cop went over to examine the body.

He briefly lifted the Red Sox cap, and quickly replaced it; then he lifted the Phillies cap, and also quickly replaced it.

However, when he lifted the Yankees cap, he stared and stared for what seemed to be two or three minutes. Finally, he let the cap drop, walked away, wrote in his notebook, then returned and lifted the Yankees cap once again and stared for a long time.

As he was walking away the second time, the fans were curious and stopped him and asked him why he spent so much time looking at the woman's genitalia, and he said, "It's the first time I've seen anything but an asshole under a Yankees cap."

by (few years ago!)
Signs You're Burned Out

10. You're so tired you now answer the phone, 'Hell.' 9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, 'Get off my back, bitch!' 8. Your garbage can IS your 'in' box. 7. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care. 6. You have so much on your mind, you've forgotten how to pee. 5. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday. 4. You sleep more at work than at home. 3. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your ID badge. 2. You blasted your Daily Planner with a .357 Magnum a week ago, but still haven't been able to miss a meeting. 1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys... all on different limbs,... at different levels,... some climbing up. The monkeys on the top look down and see a tree full ofsmiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing butassholes.

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

What about the blonde couple that gave birth to twins?

Her blonde husband is currently out looking for the other man.
Some guys are just born losers. A blonde fellow at my job was all worked up about this hot girl he had dated twice before. But today, he had stated that it was all over. So, I asked him why.

The blonde guy said, "Well, on our last date, we went over to her apartment, and she turned all the lights out after dinner. So, I got up and left, because I can take a hint just as well as the next guy

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why will a blonde laugh at a joke three times?A: Once when you tell it, once when you tell her the punchline, and once when she gets it.

by (few years ago!)
Grizzly Bear Warning

The Alaska Department of Fish and Game recently issued this bulletin

Warning: In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field.
We advise outdoorsmen to wear noisy little bells on their clothing, so as not to startle bears that arent expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear.
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear manure: Black bear manure is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear manure has little bells in it and smells like pepper.

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

A man walks into a supermarket and buys:

1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner

The teenage blonde girl at the checkout counter looks at him and says, "Single, are you?"

The man replies very sarcastically, "How ever did you guess?"

The blonde replied, "Simple! Because you're ugly."

by (few years ago!)
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