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The World's Best blonde jokes

One of the largest collections of dumb blonde jokes on the internet (Dumb Blonde Jokes Link)! The Queen Mother of all blonde jokes sites. Whether it is Christmas, New Years, April Fools Day you are sure to laugh at the hilarious jokes contained within this site.


Use the links to the left to choose your collection of blonde jokes. We are the only site we know of that has taken the time to categorize our jokes. Please note this is not meant to be twisted humour, just good clean fun.

Some jokes may not be appropriate for Little Johnny, and we would rate this page PG-13. We don't intend this site to be nasty, rude, tasteless or for that matter cute. We consider this page a tribute to all the beautiful blondes out there who have made our lives worth living.

Most jokes are one-liners, while other jokes are long. We find these blonde jokes to be good clean humour. So come laugh along with us, as we present the World's Best Blonde Jokes!

by (few years ago!) / 554 views
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Similar Jokes

Not So Saved by the Bell

The preacher was very distraught after the death of the bell ringer the day before and didn't know what to do. He began the search for another bell ringer. Many people tried, but none could match the talents of the bell ringer he had before.

Finally, when the priest had all but given up hope, an armless man came to apply for the job. The priest was ready to turn him away, how could an armless man do justice to the bells of his church?

The man pleaded with him and told him he was the brother of the man who died the day before. When the priest heard that he decided that out of respect for his brother he must allow him to try.

The man thanked the priest and began to throw his shoulder into the bell. The priest could hardly believe the wonderful tones coming from the bells. As the priest was about to appoint him the bell ringer the man ran once more for the bell. But this time he tripped and fell to his death on the street.

The priest ran out and a large crowd had gathered. Someone shouted ''Does any one know this man? ''

To which the priest replied, '' I don't know his name but he's a dead ringer for his brother''

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

What happened at the cannibals wedding party? They toasted the bride and groom.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Marriage - 6

Printed in a newspaper - The marriage of Miss Anna Bloch and Mr William Dashwood, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake and we wish to correct it.

by (few years ago!)
THE SUBSTITUTE TEACHER


A substitute teacher walks into the classroom on the blackboard she sees a message. It says, "Jimmy Poole, has got the biggest tool, in the whole damn school!"

She yells, "Whose Jimmy Poole?"

This kid in the back stands up and says, "I'm Jimmy Poole."

"Well, Jimmy, your staying after school!"

The very next day when the substitute teacher walks in, she looks up at the blackboard and written on it, it says, "PAYS to ADVERTISE."

by (few years ago!)
THE BLONDE AND THE LAWYER


A blonde who's down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighbourhood looking for odd jobs to do when she approaches a large house. She goes up to the house, rings the bell and the owner comes to the door.

He asks the lady what he can do for her. The blonde tells him of her situation, that she is down on her luck and wants to know if he has any odd jobs that she could do. The man thinks about it for a second and then remembers that he has been wanting his porch painted. He asks the blonde if she paints?

The blonde says, "Sure anything."

"Well, I've been wanting my porch painted, how much would you charge?" the man replies.

"I don't know, say $50 bucks."

"Sounds good. Go ahead and get started." He closes the door and walks back inside.
His wife asks him, "Who was at the door?" He tells her of the blonde and her situation and then told his wife that the blonde agreed to paint the porch for $50 bucks.

The astonished wife says, "$50 bucks, but that porch goes the full length of our house and then some. It will be at least a few hours job. You really should pay her more."
"But that's all she said she wanted, and anyway she's a dumb blonde!"

10 minutes later, they get a knock on the door. The man answers the door and the blone stands there and says, "All done."

With a surprised look on his face, "I can't believe it, you're already done painting the entire porch."

"Yes, and by the way it's not a porch it's a Ferrari.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What did the blonde say about blonde jokes?A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.

by (few years ago!)
ON THE MENU


The waitress walks up to one of her tables and is shocked to see three Japanese men, all sat there masturbating violently.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she screams.

One of the Japanese guys looks up and says, "Well, it says on the menu, First come, First served!"

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

The Chief Rabbi and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. The Rabbi notices a fancy shmancy phone on a side table in the Popes private chambers. "Whats that phone for?" he asks. "Its my direct line to the Lord!" the Pope replies.The Rabbi is doubtful, but the Pope insists that he tries it out and, indeed, he is connected to the Lord and chats away with Him for a while. After he hangs up the Rabbi says. "Thank you very much. This is great! But listen, I want to pay for the charges I have used up." The Pope doesnt want to take the money, but finally gives in, checks the counter and says: Allright! The charge was 50,000 Lira.", which the Rabbi gladly pays.A couple of weeks later, the Pope is in Jerusalem on an official visit. In the Rabbis chambers he sees the identical phone he has with a direct line to the Lord. The Pope asks if he could use it, because there were some urgent matt ers he needed to consult with Him. The Rabbi gladly hands him the phone and the Pope chats away. After he hangs up, he says: "Now I also want to pay for my charges on your phone." The Rabbi looks on the counter and says: "1 Shekel 50!" The Pope looks surprised: "Why so cheap!" The Rabbi smiles: "Local call."

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is a savage" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is a savage."The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is a savage."

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

A Japanese man was boasting about how his country had such advanced medical technology. He said, "We take the lungs out of a man, perform an operation, put the lungs back in, and in 4 weeks, the man is looking for work." An Englishman said, "We are far more advanced than you. We can take the heart out of a man, perform surgery and have him ready for work in just 3 weeks." The Irishman says, "Thats nothing; we can take a kidney out of a man, put into another mans body and have them looking for work in 2 weeks." The American says, "Well hell, thats nothin. We had an idiot taken out of Texas, put in the Whitehouse and now half the country is lookin for work!"

by (few years ago!)
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