Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

SURVEYING THE FORMER PRESIDENT


An official Gallup survey polled over 1000 women with the question: Would you sleep with Former US President Bill Clinton?

1% said, "No"
2% said, "Yes"
97% said, "Never Again"

by (few years ago!) / 503 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

Blonde jokes

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals. She proudly said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!" Her friend said, "O.K. then, whats the capital of France?" The blonde replied, "Oh, thats so easy! F."

by (few years ago!)
How to Scare a Coworker


1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you.

3) Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachie."

4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as often since you did this.

6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive. Call everyone Madge.

7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee, a printout, or whatever, slap yourself at random the whole way.

8) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

9) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask him or her if they want fries with that.

10) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself, engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

11) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.

12) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN".

13) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.

14) Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza, donuts, or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."

15) Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?Father: I dont know son, Im still paying for it.

by (few years ago!)
THE BUFFALO THEORY

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers, and that's why beer is so good for you!



by (few years ago!)
Kids Jokes

We have a large number of Jokes for Kids of all Ages !!
We have the ol' standbys like Knock Knock Jokes, Jokes with Animals, Excuse Notes, Tom Swifties and much more. You don't know what Tom Swifties are Read some. We know that you will enjoy them !!

by (few years ago!)
BACK ON THE GOLF COURSE


A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.

"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.

"Oh great! Now you tell me," said the beginner in a disgusted tone.

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes




The Smartest Dog Ever

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."
Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.

As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" button, then the butcher follows him off.

The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap! - Against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing and pummeling the dog.

The butcher runs up screams at the guy: "What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!"

The owner responds, "Genius, no way! It's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"

by (few years ago!)
Funny Animal Jokes

In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.

It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm in Norfolk, Virginia.

Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law.

In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within the city limits.

In McDonald, Ohio, farmers cannot march a goose down a city street. And fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries in Massachusetts.

In Kansas, it is illegal for chicken thieves to work during daylight hours.

In New York, frogs may be taken from their ponds from June 16 to September 30, but only between sunrise and sunset.

In Pennsylvania, no one is allowed to shoot bullfrogs on a Sunday.

In Arizona, the bullfrog-hunting season is permanently closed.

In Vermont, you can be fined if your pig runs in a public park without the permission of a selectman.

French Lick Springs, Indiana, once passed a law requiring all black cats to wear bells on Friday the 13th.

Madison, Wisconsin, will not allow joint custody of a family pet when a couple divorces - the animal is legally awarded to whoever happens to have possession of it at the time of the initial separation.

Dogs in Foxpoint, Wisconsin, may not bark profusely, snarl, or make any menacing gestures.

In Texas, it's illegal to put graffiti on someone else's cow.

It is illegal to ride a mule down Lang, Kansas' Main Street in August, unless the animal is wearing a straw hat.

Over in Berea, Kentucky and also in Willamantic, Connecticut, horses are not allowed out on the streets and highways at night unless the animal has a "bright" red taillight securely attached to its rump.

Horses may not wear cowbells inside the city limits of Tahoe City, California.

In Washington, though, every cow wandering the streets of Seattle must be wearing a cowbell.

In Burns, Oregon, horses are allowed in the town's taverns, if an admission fee is paid before they enter.

You can't blow your nose in public places in Leahy, Washington, because it might scare a horse and cause it to panic.

In Wanassa, New Jersey, a dog is breaking the law if it is heard to be "crying."

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be.The Japanese team won by a mile.Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure.After some t ime and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to "4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager" and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer. "We must give him empowerment and enrichment." That ought to do it.The next year the Japanese team won by two miles.The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you,what have you usually done wrong? Made her chain too long.

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Train

A VALUABLE LESSON IN STUDENT..

THE BLIND MAN AND THE RABBI

The Proxy Father

BILL TAKES A PLANE RIDE

WINDOZE QUOTES

YOU KNOW YOU'RE ADDICTED TO ..

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context