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SURVEYING THE FORMER PRESIDENT


An official Gallup survey polled over 1000 women with the question: Would you sleep with Former US President Bill Clinton?

1% said, "No"
2% said, "Yes"
97% said, "Never Again"

by (few years ago!) / 548 views
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A WEAKER ARGUMENT

So there was this engineer who was tragically hit by a bus and killed instantly. He had lead a good life, but for some reason he found himself, rather than at the pearly gates, in the Other Place. Not one to complain, he shrugged and submitted himself to the tortures and other indignities common in Hell.

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This brought him to the attention of one of the senior demons that then had him working all over Hell fixing the torture devices, working out the kinks in the plumbing system, installing digital controls to the flame throwers . . . you name it.

Pretty soon word reached Satan that Hell had a great new addition to the team. The engineer then got taken under the Boss' wing (so to speak) as he planned and oversaw the creation of a giant new computer network. Pretty soon, word of all these improvements reached Heaven.

God was pretty upset about all this, and he had St. Peter look into the details (it had been a computer error, the engineer had been destined for one of the mid levels of Heaven). So God called Satan up and told him he wanted the engineer back.

"Nothing doing," said Satan, "You sent him down here, and we're keeping him!"

"What?" sputtered God, "You get him up here right now! That's a direct Order!"

"Listen pal, I don't take orders from you any more. Remember that 'rule in hell' agreement?"

God was beside himself. "If you don't send that engineer up here right now, I'll . . . I'll sue you!"

"Oh, sure!" Satan shot back gleefully. "Where are you going to get a lawyer?

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