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Train

2 blondes walk into the forest and stop at some tracks one of the blondes say those are bear tracks the other blonde says no those r dear tracks 1/2 hour later they were both killed by a train

by (few years ago!) / 4672 views
(Rated 3 Stars - 2 votes)
 

Similar Jokes

Words With More Than One Syllable

A first grade teacher is starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thinks it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable.

"Jane, do you know any multi-syllable words?" she asks.

After some thought Jane proudly replies with Monday.

"You are correct, Jane, Monday does have two syllables."

Continuing, she then asks, "Does anyone know another word with more than one syllable?"

"I do! I do!" replies Johnny.

Knowing Johnnys more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead.

"OK Mike, what is your word?"

"Saturday," says Mike.

"Yes! That has three syllables, Mike, great job," she replies.

Not wanting to be outdone, Johnny says, "I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!"

Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large, the teacher reluctantly asks, "OK, Johnny what is your four syllable word?"

Johnny proudly says, "Mas-tur-ba-tion."

The teacher, shocked and trying to retain her composure, says, "Wow, Johnny. Four syllables! Thats is certainly a mouthful."

"No Maam, your thinking of blowjob, and thats only two syllables."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?A: Bigfoot has been sighted.

by (few years ago!)
A TRIP TO THE CINEMA

A man goes into a cinema with his dog to watch a film. It's a romantic comedy and when there's a funny seen the dog starts laughing. A little later on there's a sad part and suddenly the dog starts crying.

This goes on throughout the entire film, laughing and crying at all the right places. A man sitting a few rows back has witnessed the entire thing and decides to follow the man out.
In the foyer, he approaches the dog owner and says, "That's truly amazing!"

"It certainly is" The dog owner replied, "He hated the book!"

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't
get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer
was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she
pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on
this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out
to be the computer's mouse.

Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her
brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the
unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for
something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed
the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"

Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and
rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said
to put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk.
When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...."
The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove
Disk 1 first.


In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions
for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk
from its cover and insert into the drive. The user had physically
removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were
problems.

True story from a Novell NetWire Sysop:
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because
I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade
show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any
trademark on it?"
Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about
promotional. It just has '4X' on it." At this point, the Tech Rep
had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was
laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows."
The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is
a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
window and his printer is working fine,"

Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape
keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle
of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program
Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

by (few years ago!)
Do you realize what I am?

A blonde was telling her priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"

by (few years ago!)
This dog is acting bad

While waiting for a bus, the blind man's dog decided to go to the bathroom all over the blind man's legs.

A passerby commented to the blind man, "What! That dog just went to the bathroom all over your legs, and you are petting him?! Are you crazy?"

To which the blind man replied, "Madam, I am not petting him, I am feeling for his bottom, so I can kick him."

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

Why is a modem better than a woman? A: A modem doesnt mind if you talk to other modems. A modem doesnt complain if you sit and play at the computer all night. A modem will sit patiently and wait by the phone. A modem comes with an instruction manual.

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Why did the computer act crazy?It had a screw loose.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

How did the dog make gold soup?He put in 24 carrots.

by (few years ago!)
Gay Men Have A Baby

Two gay men decide that they want to have a baby, but they don't want to adopt because they want the baby to be as close to their own as possible.

So they both masturbate into a cup and have a doctor use their sperm to impregnate a female friend of theirs.

Nine months later, the two fags are looking at their baby in the hospital nursery. All of the babies are crying and screaming except for theirs.

"Wow," one of the gay men says, "Our baby is the most well behaved one in here."

A nurse who happens to be walking by says, "Now he's quiet, but wait till we take the pacifier out of his ass."

by (few years ago!)
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