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Train

2 blondes walk into the forest and stop at some tracks one of the blondes say those are bear tracks the other blonde says no those r dear tracks 1/2 hour later they were both killed by a train

by (few years ago!) / 7193 views
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Similar Jokes

Blonde jokes

A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys. The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, whos the other father!?!"

by (few years ago!)
Can you tell me how much you charge?

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.

"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.

"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"

"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"

"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and goes, "Where?"

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

by (few years ago!)
Sending The Bill

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when youre out of the office?

I give it to them, replied the lawyer, and then I send them a bill.

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

Why dont women work as long and as hard as men in the office?They do it right first time.

by (few years ago!)
THE STRATEGIST AT THE PEARLY GATES


A Democratic strategist assumes room temperature and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. The strategist is taken inside Heaven by St. Peter and given a guided tour. He's led into one huge room that is full of millions of clocks, and he notices a clock with his name on it that has stopped.

St. Peter explains that everyone has a clock that counts down the seconds of their life, and when someone dies, their clock stops. All this fascinates the strategist but when he examines all of the other clocks, he notices that some of the clocks' second hands are moving faster than others.

St. Peter explains that every time someone tells a lie, which is a sin, they lose part of their life, so their clock's second hand ends up moving faster.

The Democratic strategist looks around but doesn't see Bill Clinton's clock, so he asks St. Peter where it is.

"Oh," answers St. Peter, "that's being used as a ceiling fan."

by (few years ago!)
Misc Jokes

A country woman and her daughter were riding in an old pen buggy one cold, blustery January day in North Dakota. The daughter said to the mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied, "Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up." So the daughter did, and her hands warmed up.

The next day, the daughter was riding in the buggy with her boyfriend. The boyfriend said, "My hands are freezing cold." The girl replied. "Put them between my legs; they'll warm up." He did, and his hands warmed up.

The next day, the boyfriend was again driving in the buggy with the girl. He said, "My nose is freezing cold." The girl replied, "Put it between my legs. It will warm up." He did, and his nose warmed up. The next day, the boy friend was once again driving with the girl and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."

The next day, the girl is driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?" The somewhat concerned mother says, "Yes, I have. Why do you ask?" The daughter says, "Well, they make one hell of a mess when they thaw out!"

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Tech Support: "Which format are the images you send?" Customer: "Rectangular, 15x11 centimeters."

by (few years ago!)
Zoo jokes

Freds class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. "Did you enjoy yourself?" asked her mother when she got home. "Oh, yes," replied Fred. "But it was funny going to a dead zoo."

by (few years ago!)
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