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Train

2 blondes walk into the forest and stop at some tracks one of the blondes say those are bear tracks the other blonde says no those r dear tracks 1/2 hour later they were both killed by a train

by (few years ago!) / 7000 views
(Rated 3 Stars - 2 votes)
 

Similar Jokes

Blonde jokes

What do Blondes say after sex?A1: Thanks Guys.A2: Are you boys all in the same band?A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers

by (few years ago!)
Funny Animal Joke

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.

"Great idea!" the chicken cried.

"Let's offer them ham and eggs?"

"Not so fast," said the pig testily. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."


by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didnt dance a single step!" "So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

by (few years ago!)
Signs You're Burned Out

10. You're so tired you now answer the phone, 'Hell.' 9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, 'Get off my back, bitch!' 8. Your garbage can IS your 'in' box. 7. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care. 6. You have so much on your mind, you've forgotten how to pee. 5. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday. 4. You sleep more at work than at home. 3. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your ID badge. 2. You blasted your Daily Planner with a .357 Magnum a week ago, but still haven't been able to miss a meeting. 1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

A big, burly man visited the pastors home and asked to see the ministers wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses."Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400.""How terrible!" exclaimed the preachers wife. "May I ask who you are?"The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "Im the landlord," he sobbed.

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

A shapely young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair. So she decides to go to a gun shop and buys a handgun.

The next day the blonde comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.

The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with his blonde wife not to shoot herself. Hysterically, the blonde responds to her husband, "Just shut up! You're next."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

A man and his son were shovelling the driveway after a heavy snowfall when their dog, Lady, wandered away from them. Man, fearing the dog might be hit by car, shouted angrily: "Lady! Lady! Get over here right now!" The dog charged happily back over to them, accompanied by a commuter who had been standing at the bus stop. "Yes, sir, what can I do for you she asked.

by (few years ago!)
Hilarious Jokes for Kids (Signet) (Paperback

The very fat lady stopped on the curb and said to the boy, "Young man, could you see me across the road

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

My wife sez that Im too extravagant; that if anything ever happens to her, Ill have to beg. I told her Id be fine. I mean look at all the experience Ive got.

by (few years ago!)
PRAYING FOR SOME BIRDS


A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, l have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but l have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and l will put them in with my two male parrots who l taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to worship."

"Thank you!" the woman responded. So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.

The lady puts her female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the bibles away. Our prayers have been answered!

by (few years ago!)
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