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Blonde jokes

Did you hear why they closed the Seattle Kingdom While the crowd was doing the wave two blondes drowned

by (few years ago!) / 6885 views
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Computer jokes

Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

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Political jokes

At an outdoor press conference, Al Gore was addressing harsh criticism of being "lifeless as a statue.""That is absurd," Gore stoically stated. "When elected, the people of America will see just how passionate and alive I truly am."Embarrassed for her husband, Tipper, leaned in to whisper, "Honey, you have a pigeon on your head."

by (few years ago!)
Dirty Tricks

A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed.

He asked her where she was going and she replied, "I'm going to Las Vegas."

He asked her why she was going.

She told him, "I just found out that as a woman I can make $400 a night doing what I give you for free."

He went into the house, packed his bags and returned to the porch.

His wife said, "And just where do you think you are going?"

"I''m going too!" he replied.

"Why?" she asked.

"I want to see how you are going to live on $800 a year!"

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

I dont think this whole White House scandal is good for parents. I caught my six year old son David in a lie, and he said we could discuss it tonight in a "National Town Meeting."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

Two women, who are dog owners, are arguing which dog is smarter.First woman: My dog is so smart. Every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around and then he takes a newspaper and brings it to me.Second woman: I know.First one: How?Second one: My dog told me.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 4

One day a blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to see her doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?
Blonde: Yes it did.
Doctor: And what did these letters spell?
Blonde: It said "Pull"

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Animals - 5

'Would you rather a lion ate you or a gorilla?'
'I would rather the lion ate the gorilla.'

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

It was Halloween and three vampires went into a saloon and bellied up to the bar. "What will you have?" the bartender asked. "Ill have a glass of blood," the first replied. "Ill have a glass of blood, too, please," said the second. "Ill have a glass of plasma," said the third. "OK, let me get this straight," the bartender said. "Thatll be two bloods and a blood light?"

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to asserthimself. "You dont have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go home and show her youre the boss." The husband decided to take the doctors advice. He wenthome, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wifes face, and growled, "From now on youre taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?""I certainly do," said his wife calmly, "the undertaker."

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

Once upon a time Dracula decided to carry some sort of a competition to see which is the finest bat to stand on his side. So all the bats were honored to take part. The rules were simple. Whichever bat drinks more blood, will be the winner? So the first bat goes and comes back after 10 minutes. Her mouth was full of blood. Dracula says: "Congratulations, how did you do that?" The bat said: "Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a house. I went in and sucked the blood of all the family". "Very good" said Dracula. The second bat goes and comes back after 5 minutes all her face covered in blood. Dracula astonished says, "How did you do that?" The bat replies " Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a school. I went in and drunk the blood of all the children". "Impressive" said Dracula. Now the third bat goes and comes back after three minutes literally covered in blood from top to toe. Dracula is stunned. "How on earth did you do that????" he asked. And the bat replies. "Do you see this tower?" Dracula replies with a yes. And the bat says "Well, I didn't".

by (few years ago!)
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