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Blonde jokes

Did you hear why they closed the Seattle Kingdom While the crowd was doing the wave two blondes drowned

by (few years ago!) / 6752 views
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DOG BITES

A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?"

"No."

A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.

"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.

"That's not my dog

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Whats the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

man who worked in a cruise liner as a magician had a parrot and every time the man did a trick the parrot yelled, “it’s in the pocket,” “it’s in the pocket,” the magician would do another trick and the parrot yelled, “it’s in the hat”, “it’s in the hat.”
One day during his act the cruise liner had a problem and the ship sunk. The parrot came up from the water and looking confused said; “NOW WHERE DID HE HIDE THE SHIP

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

Men are like vacuum cleaners.Theyre not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.

by (few years ago!)
EVEN MORE BIZARRE REAL LIFE ANIMAL LAWS

Cats in International Falls, Minnesota, are not allowed to chase dogs up telephone poles.

If your dog gets your neighbor's dog pregnant in Danbury, Connecticut, you are responsible and must pay for the abortion if the neighbor chooses to have it done.

No dog may be tied to a shade tree in Birmingham, Alabama.

An ordinance in Belvedere, California, states "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."

Another misworded ordinance is this one from Arvada, Colorado: "If a stray pet is not claimed within 24 hours, the owner will be destroyed."

Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited by statute in Barber, North Carolina.

In Sterling, Colorado, it is unlawful to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight.

In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.

Cats living in Cresskill, New Jersey, must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.

A Fountain Inn, South Carolina, law once required horses to wear pants at all times. But carriage horses in Charleston, South Carolina, were required to wear diapers.

In Calgary, Canada, a by-law requires businesses within the city to provide rails for tying up horses.

In Winona, MS, it is illegal to drive a car on Main Street because it frightens horses.

In Wilbur, Washington, it is against the law for a person to "ride an ugly horse" - the fine is $300!

If you live in California, you cannot keep your chickens, turkeys, goats, cows, and other farm animals in an apartment.

In Cumberland, Maryland, you cannot keep your chickens with you in your hotel room.

In Minnesota, it's illegal to tease skunks.

In Atlanta, it's against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or a street lamp.

Riding a camel on a highway in Nevada is against the law. Over in Galveston, Texas, it is against the law for camels to wander the streets unattended.

In Arizona, it is illegal to shoot or hunt camels.

It's illegal to take a deer swimming in water above its knees in North Carolina.

by (few years ago!)
two blondes killed in forest

Two blondes are walking in the forest when they come across marks in the ground.

One says to another, 'Oh, look at the deer tracks!'

'Those aren't deer trucks, you dumb blonde!' says the other. 'They're bear prints.'

'Deer tracks, you dumb blonde!'

'Bear prints, you dumb blonde!'

Next day's headlines : Two blondes killed by train in forest.


by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

Two weeks after that the guy went to the fair and brought his parrot with him. Far off in the distance the parrot heard "Hit the doll, win a prize!" And so he repeated him.

That Sunday the guy and his parrot went to chruch and when the priest began his speech, "God lives up there." And he gestured to the celing and the parrot then said, "Bologna! Bologna! Bologna!" The priest ignored him. Again he started, "The devil lives down there." And he gestured to the floor. The parrot then spoke, "Get a rope, pull him up. Get a rope, pull him up. Get a rope, pull him up!"

by (few years ago!)
Mountain Bike

A man came back from a long business trip to find that his son had a new $300 mountain bike.

"How'd you get that, son?"

"By hiking."

"Hiking?"

"Yeah, every night, Mom's boss came over and gave me $20 to take a hike."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

A Chihuahua was shopping in a mall when another shopper walked up to it and started talking. Didnt I see you on a TV commercial? How am I supposed to know what you watch on TV?

by (few years ago!)
Arthritis is so cruel

"I'll tell you," he said, "I've learned that arthritis is the cruellest disease."

"Crueller than cancer?" his friend asked.

"You bet," the first codger replied, "It makes every single one of your joints stiff, except the right one."

by (few years ago!)
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