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Blonde jokes

A friend meets up with her friend as she is picking her car up from the mechanic.Her friend asks, "Everything ok with your car now?"The blonde replies Yes, thank goodness. I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid

by (few years ago!) / 6652 views
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Religious jokes

Two nuns were driving alone out in the boonies. They ran out of gas. Fortunately they could walk to a gas station not far away, where they asked to purchase a can of gasoline. "Im sorry, sister," said the attendant, "but all I have for you to carry it in is an old chamberpot. The nuns agreed that this would be fine. They returned to the car.As they were pouring the gasoline into the tank, a man drove by, stopped his car, and said, "Oh sister, if only I had your faith."

by (few years ago!)
Doctors talk Politics

An Israeli doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks."

A German doctor said "That's nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks."

A Russian doctor said, "In my country, medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another and have them both looking for work in two weeks."

The American doctor, not to be outdone, said "Hah! We are about to take an asshole out of Texas, put him in the White House and half the country will be looking for work the next day."

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes

A highly timid little man, Casper Milquetoast, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"

A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "That'd be my dog. Why?"

"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."

"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What kind of dog do you have?"

"Sir," answered the little man, "It's a four-week-old puppy."

"How could your puppy kill my Doberman?" roared the biker.

"It appears that he choked on it, sir."

by (few years ago!)
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.

"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."

The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers -- we had $100 when we broke in!"

by (few years ago!)
wedding jokes & humour

Welcome to the hitched wedding jokes and humour section. Here you will find the best of the wedding jokes and humor around with links to classic best man stories and sections for only the bride and groom to read. These wedding jokes could be great included in a best man or chief bridesmaid/matron of honour speech.

If you have any other wedding jokes then please let us know and we will include them in the site.

by (few years ago!)
A Plausible Explanation

One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he said, "Excuse me God, can I ask you a few questions?"

God replied, "Go on Adam but be quick. I have a world to create."

So Adam says, "When you created Eve, why did you make her body so curved and tender unlike mine?"

"I did that, Adam, so that you could love her."

"Oh, well then, why did you give her long, shiny, beautiful hair, and not me?"

"I did that Adam so that you could love her."

"Oh, well then, why did you make her so stupid? Certainly not so that I could love her?"

"Well, Adam no. I did that so that she could love you."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

How did the dogs owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast He foamed at the mouth

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."

by (few years ago!)
Lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?

How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?

Never enough.

by (few years ago!)
YOU’VE GOT MAIL

A blonde went out to her mail box and looked in, closed the door and went back in the house. A few minutes later she went out and looked in the mail box again.

She did this several times and her neighbour that was watching her said: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into your mail box."

The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer and it keeps telling me that I have mai

by (few years ago!)
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