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Blonde jokes

A friend meets up with her friend as she is picking her car up from the mechanic.Her friend asks, "Everything ok with your car now?"The blonde replies Yes, thank goodness. I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid

by (few years ago!) / 4444 views
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Similar Jokes

This dog is acting bad

While waiting for a bus, the blind man's dog decided to go to the bathroom all over the blind man's legs.

A passerby commented to the blind man, "What! That dog just went to the bathroom all over your legs, and you are petting him?! Are you crazy?"

To which the blind man replied, "Madam, I am not petting him, I am feeling for his bottom, so I can kick him."

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Its not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

by (few years ago!)
Resume Bloopers

These are from actual resumes:

"Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs.

"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."

"Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap."

"I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."

"Number of dependents: 40."

"Marital Status: Often. Children: Various."

by (few years ago!)
The best blonde joke…

I missed the best blonde joke ever. Well, at least I did until I got to Greg Hughes blog. Being blonde I appreciate jokes like these. Update: Greg’s link doesn’t seem to work, so you can catch the joke on Ben Hammersley’s blog.

by (few years ago!)
A MANAGER'S DILEMA

An office manager had money problems & had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill... He thought he'd fire the employee who came late to work the next morning.

Well, both employees came to work very early. Then the manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break.

Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break - strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day, they both ate at their desk. Then the manager thought he'd wait & see who would leave work the earliest and both employees stayed after closing.

Jill finally went to the coat rack & the manager went up to her & said,
"Jill, I have a terrible problem. I don't know whether to lay you or Jack off."

Jill said, "Well, you'd better jack off, because I'm late for my bus."

by (few years ago!)
Priestly Duties

One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won't be able to go to work.

Way up in heaven, Saint Peter sees all this and asks God, ''Are you really going to let him get away with this?''

''No, I guess not,'' says God.

The priest drives about five to six hours away, so he doesn't bump into anyone he knows. The golf course is empty when he gets there. So he takes his first swing, drives the ball 495 yards away and gets a hole in one.

Saint Peter watches in disbelief and asks, '' Why did you let him do that?''

To this God says, ''Who's he going to tell?''

by (few years ago!)
Redneck Job Interview

You might be a redneck if the interveiwer asks, 'Did you know that we are a Fourtune 500 Company?' And you answer 'What track do y'all sponsor that race at? I ain't been to that one yet.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What thoughts do Blondes have after reading these jokes?A: None, as usual... and they most likely didnt understand them either

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

How did the dog feel when he lost his flashlight?Delighted.

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?" The man replied, "This was my wifes seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan." The other man replied,"Im so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didnt give the ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied, "Theyre all at the funeral."

by (few years ago!)
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