Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

Blonde jokes

A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosur fossils had been found in the area The blonde exclaimed Wow! I cant believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway.

by (few years ago!) / 6902 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

Marriage jokes

The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determinedto track down the father to extract revenge."Was it my friend Sam", he demanded."No !" his weeping wife replied."Was it my friend Jim then?" he asked."NO !!!" she said even more upset."Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked."Dont you think I have any friends of my own?" she snapped.

by (few years ago!)
computer jokes

Millions of Americans welcomed the Labor Day holiday.
It's the one day of the year when they can escape
the grueling drudgery of surfing the Internet at work.




I haven't lost my mind.
It's backed up on a disk somewhere . . .




Not tonight dear, I have a modem!




Voice on telephone to man seated at his computer:
Thank you for calling the tech support hotline.
If your computer becomes obsolete while you're holding,
press 1 to reach our sales department.


by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks Maam, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure Why, officer asks the blonde Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.""Oh my goodness exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus

by (few years ago!)
office jokes

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. "I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."

"Excuse me?" the young accountant said.

"I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back."

"I see," the young accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?"

"I will start you at $85,000."

"Eighty-five thousand dollars!" the young accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?"

"That," the owner said, "is your first worry."

by (few years ago!)
A DROP IN SALARY PERHAPS


A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going and she replied "I'm going to Las Vegas."

He questioned her as to why she was going and she told him "I just found out that I can make $400.00 a night doing what I give you for free".

He pondered that then went into the house and packed his bags and returned to the porch and with his wife. She said "And just where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going too!!" he replied.

"Why?" She asked.

"I want to see how you are going to live on $800.00 a year"

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.The rabbi told him he wouldnt know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and hed stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says, Father, forgive me for I have sinned.The priest asks, What did you do?The woman says, I committed adultery.The priest says, How many times? And the woman replies, Three.Priest: Say two Hail Marys, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more.A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says, Father forgive me for I have sinned.What did you do?I committed adultery. r How many times?Three times.The priest says, Say two Hail Marys, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more.The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks hes got it, so the priest leaves. A few minutes later another woman enters and says, Father, forgive me for I have sinned.The rabbi says, What did you do?The woman replies, I committed adultery.The rabbi, getting it off pat, says, How many times?The woman replies, Once.The rabbi said, Go and do it two more times, We have a special this week, three for $5.

by (few years ago!)
NEW SECRETARY


Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife!"

Two days later. George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!

by (few years ago!)
A client who felt his legal bill was too high...

A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item:

"Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner to cross at the light, crossed the street and walked quickly to catch up with you. Got close and saw it wasn't you. -$50.00."

by (few years ago!)
THE DEVIL INSIDE

The Devil walks into a crowded bar. Within seconds the bar emptied with people running out screaming all over the place, all except for one old boy leant over the bar.

The Devil wanders across to the old boy and says "Do you know how I am?"

The old man took another sip of his beer and answered "Yep"

The Devil stared at the old man and asked "Well aren't you afraid?"

The old boy looks the Devil up and down for a minute and shrugs "nah, I've been married to your sister for 40 years. Why the hell should I be scared of you?"

by (few years ago!)
Owning a Big Dog

You know you have a BIG dog when...

The sound of running water makes you jump up and yell, "OUTSIDE!"

You tell your dog to sit, and he backs up until he finds a chair.

It takes 3 people to get your dog on the scale at the vets.

You walk your dog and everyone knows him by name, but you have no idea who these people are.

You can carry on a conversation with a dog's muzzle firmly in your crotch.

You own a dog capable of pulling someone from a port-a-potty.

You carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new vehicle.

You keep at least one color-coded "drool towel" in every room of your house.

After banishing your husband, the snoring in your bedroom still keeps you awake.

You are hiking with a friend who later suggests that you ought to have an environmental impact statement done on your dog.

Visitors enter the house, holding their privates protectively.

You toss your dog a ball and cringe when he almost hits his head on the top of the doorway.

You take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your arm, causing you to make random right turns.

You have given up on water dishes and you just use the bathtub.

Your two dogs decide to play in the house, and they end up pulling the ceiling fan down, for the second time.

You have to move over when brushing your teeth because your dog wants a drink.

You show a picture of your dogs and kids together, and the first person you point out is your dog.

While stopped at a stop light, everyone stares as your car rocks back and forth because the dog is panting out the window.

You go to vacuum your car and most of the fur is up there on the ceiling.

You've learned to force a smile when asked "do you have a saddle for that thing?"

The monthly dog budget exceeds your home mortgage payment.

Your veterinarian has been able to put in a swimming pool, build a large home, buy jet skis and a vacation home in Florida.

You have had to train your dog not to lick dishes, and the dishes are in the sink.

The donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get home and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose.

Your dog can see what you're cooking and he tries to assist you in the preparation.

You're holding him straddled between your legs when the doorbell rings and you find yourself quickly transported straight to the front door.

The pizza delivery people tell you to meet them at the end of the sidewalk.

Your dog stands in your lap and reaches over you to stick his head in the drive-through window at McDonalds and nearly gives the cashier a heart attack when she turns around to give you your change.

You purchase a large screen TV and you still can't see the program when he stands in front of the television.

After surgery, your bored pup decides to get up and cruise around the vet's office, pulling the rolling IV stand behind him.

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Dog jokes

Blonde jokes

Men jokes

Men Vs. Women Jokes

Business jokes

Men jokes

Political jokes

Computer jokes

office jokes

BAR JOKES

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context