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Blonde jokes

A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosur fossils had been found in the area The blonde exclaimed Wow! I cant believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway.

by (few years ago!) / 5050 views
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Similar Jokes

Business jokes

"Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that, please?" "Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you." The operator pauses. "Just a minute, sir. Ill connect you with my supervisor . . ."

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

Two boys were playing football in Golden Gate Park when one was attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter who was walking by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Forty Niners' fan saves friend from vicious animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But, I'm not a Niners' fan," the boy replied.

"Oakland Raiders' fan rescues friend from horrific attack," the reporter starts again.

"No, I'm not a Raiders' fan either," the boy said.

"Then what are you?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Cowboys' fan." replied the boy.

The reporter turns to a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Redneck bastard kills family pet."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal ?That hit the spots !c

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A man was complaining to a friend."I had it all. Money, a beautiful house, a BIG car, the love of a beautiful woman, then, POW! it was all gone!""What happened?" asked the friend."My wife found out."

by (few years ago!)

President Clinton wakes up to a beautiful winter morning. The sun is shining, the air is crisp, and there is a light blanket of snow on the ground. He stretches and goes to look out the window at the snow-covered WhiteHouse lawn and sees the words "President Clinton sucks" written in pee in the snow.

Clinton gets all upset and calls White House Security. He tells them he doesn't care what it takes but he wants to know who did this. The Chief of Security returns in a couple of days to the President and tells him that he has good news, bad news, and real bad news.

"OK," says Clinton, "give me the good news first, then the bad news, and then the real bad news."

The Chief says: "The good news is after taking analysis of the pee, we know who the culprit is." Clinton nods and the Chief continues: "The bad news is the culprit is Vice President Gore." This really upsets the President, but he controls his anger and asks the Chief to tell him the real bad news.

The Chief of Security swallows and says, "It's in Hilary's hand writing".

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Computer helpline?Everytime I log onto the seven dwarfs website my computer screen goes snow white....

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero, when Tiffany, a blonde woman, got off work late one night. She managed to make her way to her car but wondered how she was going to make it home. Tiffany sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation.

She finally remembered her daddy's advice: If she got caught in a blizzard, she should wait for a snowplow to come by and then follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snowdrift. This made her feel much better.

Sure enough, in a little while a snowplow went by and Tiffany started to follow it. As she followed the snowplow, she was feeling very smug because she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.

After quite sometime had passed, Tiffany was somewhat surprised when the snowplow stopped, the driver got out, came back to her car, and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was alright, as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine, and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.

The driver replied that it was okay with him and she could continue if she wanted-- but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to K-Mart next.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

One afternoon a little boy was playing outdoors. He used his mothers broom as a horse and had a wonderful time until it was getting dark.He left the broom on the back porch. His mother was cleaning up the kitchen when she realized that her broom was missing. She asked the little boy about the broom and he told her where it was.She then asked him to please go get it. The little boy informed his mom that he was afraid of the dark and didnt want to go out to get the broom.His mother smiled and said The Lord is out there too, dont be afraid. The little boy opened the back door a little and said Lord if youre out there, hand me the broom.

by (few years ago!)
Bring Your Daughter to Work Day

A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has
just taken to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your
secretary. Why do you call her a doll?"

Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system and is very efficient."

"Oh," says the little girl, "I thought it was because she closed her
eyes when you lay her down on the couch."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde Jokes

There were three girls, a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They were all in the fifth grade. A 17 year-old guy comes and asks one of them out. But which did he ask? Easy. The blonde one, because she's also 17.!
How do you kill a Blonde? - Put a scratch-and-sniff tab on the bottom of the pool!
What happens when a Blonde eats a mosquito? - She has more brain cells in her stomach than her head.

** A guy walks into a bar and there are a whole bunch of blondes chanting "51 days! 51 days!..." The guy walks up to the bartender and asks him "what are they celebrating about". The bartender says "I don't know". The guy is curious so he desides to ask one of the blondes. he asks, "Can one of you please tell me why you are chanting '51 days' and why are you all celebrating". one of the blondes proudly answers " we just finished this puzzle. The box said '3-4 years' but we finished it in 51 days".

by (few years ago!)
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