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Blonde jokes

A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosur fossils had been found in the area The blonde exclaimed Wow! I cant believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway.

by (few years ago!) / 6286 views
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Laxative Cough Therapy

A man is working at a pharmaceutical store, and he always gets the orders wrong. His boss tells him if he screws up one more time, he is fired.

An old man walks in and orders cough syrup. He can't find any so he gives him a laxative instead. The man takes the laxative and leaves the store. The boss comes up and asks why he gave the man a laxative in place of cough syrup. He points towards the old man who is suddenly leaning on a lightpost and says, "Look at him -- he's afraid to cough."

by (few years ago!)
A husband with a computer addiction

My Dear Husband,

I am sending you this letter via this BBS communications thing, so that you will be sure to read it. Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going on at home since your computer entered our lives TWO YEARS AGO. The children are doing well. Tommy is seven now and is a bright, handsome boy. He has developed quite an interest in the arts. He drew a family portrait for a school project, all the figures were good, and the back of your head is very realistic. You should be very proud of him.

Little Jennifer turned three in September. She looks a lot like you did at that age. She is an attractive child and quite smart. She still remembers that you spent the whole afternoon with us on her birthday. What a grand day for Jenny, despite the fact that it was stormy and the electricity was out.

I am doing well. I went blonde about a year ago, and discovered that it really is more fun! George, I mean, Mr. Wilson, the department head, has taken an interest in my career and has become a good friend to us all.

I discovered that the household chores are much easier since I realized that you didn't mind being vacuumed but that feather dusting made you sneeze. The house is in good shape. I had the living room painted last spring; I'm sure you noticed it. I made sure that the painters cut holes in the drop sheet so you wouldn't be disturbed.

Well, my dear, I must be going. Uncle George--err--Mr. Wilson, I mean, is taking us all on a ski trip and there is packing to do. I have hired a housekeeper to take care of things while we are away, she'll keep things in order, fill your coffee cup and bring your meals to your desk, just the way you like it. I hope you and the computer will have a lovely time while we are gone. Tommy, Jenny and I will think of you often. Try to remember us while your disks are booting.

Love,
Your Wife

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

How do you lose fourteen stone of fat?Dump him.

by (few years ago!)
Why did the blonde get fired...

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

She was throwing away all the W's.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was exhibiting an extraordinary performance. "That is a very smart dog," the man commented. "Hes not so smart," said one of the irked players. "Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail."

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Principal: Do you do your homework?Kid: Now & ThenPrincipal: Where do you do it?Kid: Here & TherePrincipal: Put him in the closet!!!Kid: Hey, When will I get out?Principal: Oh, sooner or later

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?Because she never marries the best man.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How does a blonde hemophiliac treat herself?A: Acupuncture.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How do you drown a blonde?A: When he asks for a lifesaver, ask him what flavor he wants

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didnt do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning by almost two hours. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work."Boss", he said, " The pill actually worked!""Thats all fine" said the boss, " But where were you yesterday?"

by (few years ago!)
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