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Blonde jokes

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks Maam, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure Why, officer asks the blonde Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.""Oh my goodness exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus

by (few years ago!) / 4702 views
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Men jokes

Men are like coolers.Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Marriage - 2

Marriage - Female going from lipstick to broomstick.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game.At halftime she was called down to answer questions to seeif she could win $1000. The first question was what is 10 plus 11?She hesitates and says, hm.. 5! The host says no im sorry thats incorrect.All of the blondes in the stadium chanted "Give her another chance, giveher another chance!" So the host agrees and said, "ok how about 5 plus 5."She answers and says 20. Again all the blondes chanted give her another chance, give her another chance. So the host agrees again and says, ok last chance,what is 2 plus 2. The blonde says 4! and the audience says Give her another chance give her another chance!

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

How did the dogs owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast He foamed at the mouth

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Lawyer Jokes

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly.

Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"

St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 196 years old!"

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I cant break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning.""What is she doing?", the pal asks."Waiting for me to get home."

by (few years ago!)
computer jokes

You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is.

If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes: mstv.dinn.//08.5min@50%heat

Then enter: ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.

If you have a Macintosh microwave oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.

If you have a Unix microwave oven, insert the dinner, enter the ingredients of the dinner found on the package label, the weight of the dinner, and the desired level of cooking and press start. The oven will calculate the time and heat and cook the dinner exactly to your specification.

Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your oven must be restarted. This is a simple procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven and enter: ms.nodarn.good/tryagain\again/again.darnit

This process may have to be repeated. Try unplugging the microwave and then doing a cold reboot. If this doesn't work, contact your oven vendor. The oven itself is obviously on the blink.

Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of which are empty. These are for future menu items. If the tray is too large to fit in your oven, you will need to upgrade your equipment.

Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the chicken variety is currently produced. If you want another variety, call Microsoft Help and they will explain that you really don't want another variety. Microsoft Turkey is all you really need.

Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of their chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family size. Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved only in Microsoft approved packaging.

Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner after 2000. However, that version has yet to be released. Users have permission to get thrilled in advance.

Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature, not a bug. Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why was the blonde in the tree?A. Because she was raking up the leaves!

by (few years ago!)
Blonde going to Chicago

Theres this blonde and she wants to know how long it will take her to fly from where she is to chicago. So she calls the airport information desk and asks them how long will it take me to get from here to chicago?. Information desk attendant at the airport says Just one sec and then she hangs up!

by (few years ago!)
Difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

by (few years ago!)
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