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Blonde jokes

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks Maam, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure Why, officer asks the blonde Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.""Oh my goodness exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus

by (few years ago!) / 6673 views
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DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR BOSS

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.


by (few years ago!)
Lawyer jokes

Why didnt Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyers heart? Because even Cupid cant hit a target that small!

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

What did they call Dracula when he won the league?The champire!

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung over and tired, he finally nods off. The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon, the preacher decides to make an example of him. He says to his congregation, "All those wishing to have a place in heaven, please stand." The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man. Then the preacher says even more loudly, "And he who would like to find a place in hell please STAND UP!" The weary man catching only the last part groggily stands up, only to find that hes the only one standing. Confused and embarrassed he says, "I dont know what were voting on here, Father, but it sure seems like you and me are the only ones standing for it!"

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What is a Chihuahuas favorite sport Miniature golf

by (few years ago!)
computer jokes

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the "Soup of the Day" now?

Waiter: The current "Soup of the Day" is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I'm running late now.

(Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.)

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

(Waiter leaves.)

Patron: Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!

The check: Soup of the Day Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day
Access to support

Note: Bug in the soup included at no extra charge (will be fixed with Tomorrow's soup of the day).

by (few years ago!)
Not So Tough

A nun in full black habit is walking past a bar when a drunk stumbles out, sees her, and punches her square in the nose. Before she can scream, he lands a sloppy one-two and an uppercut. When she goes down, he starts kicking her with his scuffed business shoes. As a crowd gathers, the drunk stops, staggers back, and slurs, "You're not so tough, Batman!"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?A: She fell out of the tree

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern."Paddy," he said, " Im afraid Ill not be seeing you in Heaven one day.""Really, Father?" slurred Paddy. "What have you done?"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How do blondes pierce their ears?A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

by (few years ago!)
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