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Blonde jokes

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks Maam, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure Why, officer asks the blonde Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.""Oh my goodness exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus

by (few years ago!) / 6963 views
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Questions Not To Ask In Foreign Lands

By
Gerhard Reinke

IRELAND
Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk?
This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?

FRANCE
Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Arent the French just Germans who can make sauces?

ITALY
Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-Os!

POLAND
Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?

GERMANY
Is this bratwurst kosher?

TURKEY
Wheres the hash at? Its cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?

KOREA
Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?

CHINA
This wall isnt so great.

ENGLAND
Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick?

SWEDEN
Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?

YEMEN
Yemen? Thats a stupid name for a country. Whats it mean -- Land Of Fanatics And Dust' ?

INDIA
You dont live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?

ETHIOPIA
After a long day of travel, Im famished. Hey those flies sure love your pregnant son!

CANADA
Youre like Americans without money.

SPAIN
So, this is the country thats not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?


SOUTH AFRICA
I liked it better the other way.

MEXICO
What's that smell?

SAUDI ARABIA
Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?

RUSSIA
Is it always this cold and economically devastated?

UZBEKISTAN
Can you spell Uzbekistan?

GREECE
I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy."

AFGHANISTAN
Seriously, where is the real country where is everything?

JAPAN
Whats Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?

AUSTRALIA
How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?

AMERICA
Was John Wayne gay?

by (few years ago!)
Cure For Baldness

During his monthly visit to the corner barbershop, this fellow asked his barber for any suggestions on how to treat his increasing baldness.

After a brief pause, the barber leaned over and confided that the best thing he'd come across was, er, female juices.

"But you're balder than I am," protested the customer.

"True," admitted the barber, "but you've gotta admit I've got one hell of a mustache!"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/shed been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.Cop: Do you know where you were going?Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad cause all the people were leaving.

by (few years ago!)
Zoo jokes

A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lions mouth," the vet told him."How do I do that?" he asked Carefully replied the vet

by (few years ago!)
THE COMPUTER PROGRAMMER


A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

Definition:Politics Poli (Poly): Many.... Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

"The fees for withdrawing money from your ATM machines are expected to double, even triple. Youre gonna pay two to three as much to withdraw your money so basically the ATM machines have become full service. Instead of getting robbed at the ATM machine the ATM machine robs you. You eliminate the middle man." - Jay Leno

by (few years ago!)
VISITING A COUNTRY SCHOOL

While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room.

Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner.

A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, "Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?"

by (few years ago!)
THE SINGING BULLFROG

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, and then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, which begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his free drinks, a stranger confronts him and offers him £100,000 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to £250,000 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to £500,000 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere £500,000!"

"Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What kind of dog is the smartest? A great brain!

by (few years ago!)
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