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Blonde jokes

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks Maam, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure Why, officer asks the blonde Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.""Oh my goodness exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus

by (few years ago!) / 5527 views
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Blonde jokes

What did the blonde think of the new computer?A: She didnt like it because she couldnt get channel 9.

by (few years ago!)

One day a man was out playing golf, when he sliced his shot off into a patch of buttercups. Rather disgusted with himself, he went in search of his ball. After finding it, he was ready to hit the ball back on the fairway when he heard a voice say "please don't hurt my buttercups". Startled, he looked around to find the source of the voice to no avail.

Again the man prepared to hit his golf ball and again he heard the voice say "please don't hurt my buttercups". This time when the man looked to find the source of the voice, he saw a small leprechaun standing by him.

The little man spoke to the man and said, "Please sir, if you will kindly pick up your ball and throw it up onto the fairway instead of hitting it with your club, I will reward you with a year's supply of butter for free".

The man thought about the offer for a minute then replied, "That's a fine offer, but I have but one question for you, where were you last week when I hit my ball into the pussywillows?"

by (few years ago!)
Lawyer jokes

Having many legal problems, including a divorce, a man had become thoroughly disgusted with lawyers in general. One evening in a bar, the conversation got around to his pet peeve and he started 'venting'. "All lawyers are jerks," he loudly proclaimed.

Another man nearby heard this, looked disturbed, and sauntered over to him. "Look, I heard what you said, and I am highly offended by it."

"Why is that? Are you a lawyer?" the first man asked.

The second guy replied, "No! I'm NOT a lawyer. I'm a jerk."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

Why does a d dog scratch himself?He is the only one that knows where it itches.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What do you call a blonde standing between two brunettes? A mental block!

by (few years ago!)

A Panda walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a meal. When the meal finally arrives, he eats it quickly, then shoots a drunk, and leaves the bar.
A patron walks over to the bartender and asks, "What was that all about?"

The bartender replies, "Look up 'panda' in the dictionary, pal."

And so, the patron retrieves his Webster's dictionary from his coat pocket and looks up the word 'panda.'

"What's it say?" asks the bartender.

The patron replies with a grin, "Eats shoots and leaves."

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?""No."A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg."I thought you said your dog didnt bite!" the man says indignantly."Thats not my dog."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What did the dog use to make his kite Fly paper.

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

Anally - occurring yearly
Artery - study of paintings
Bacteria - back door of cafeteria
Barium - what doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel - letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarian section - district in Rome
Cat scan - searching for kitty
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her
Colic - sheep dog
Coma - a punctuation mark
Congenital - friendly
D&C - where Washington is
Diarrhea - journal of daily events
Dilate - to live long
Enema - not a friend
Fester - quicker
Fibula - a small lie
Genital - non-Jewish
G.I. Series -soldiers' ball game
Grippe - suitcase
Hangnail -coat hook
Impotent - distinguished, well-known
Intense pain - torture in a teepee

by (few years ago!)
Bought a bad computer

Top Ten Signs You Bought A Bad Computer

Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.
It's celebrity spokesman is that "Hey Vern!" guy.
In order to start it you need some jumper cables and a friend's car.
It's slogan is "Pentium: redefining mathematics".
The "quick reference" manual is 120 pages long.
Whenever you turn it on, all the dogs in your neighborhood start howling. The screen often displays the message, "Ain't it break time yet?" The manual contains only one sentence: "Good Luck!" The only chip inside is a Dorito. You've decided that your computer is an excellent addition to your fabulous paperweight collection.

by (few years ago!)
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