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Blonde jokes

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks Maam, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure Why, officer asks the blonde Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.""Oh my goodness exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus

by (few years ago!) / 4455 views
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School jokes

Teacher: Are you good at math?Pupil: Yes and noTeacher: What do you mean?Pupil: Yes, Im no good at math!

by (few years ago!)
THE BLIND MAN AND THE RABBI

A blind man is sitting on a park bench. A rabbi sits down next to him. The rabbi is chomping on a piece of matzah. Taking pity on the blind man, he breaks off a piece and gives it to the blind man.

Several minutes later, the blind man turns taps the rabbi on the shoulder and asks, "Who wrote this shit?"

by (few years ago!)
A GUY WALKS INTO A BAR... OUCH!

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the toilets. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!"

After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"

by (few years ago!)
An Hour Fast

A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a beautiful blonde.

"I just got this amazing watch," he tells her, "it can reads alpha waves, and can tell me what a person is thinking."

"What does it say about me?" asked the blonde.

"It says you want to sleep with me." said the man.

"Sorry," said the blonde, "I think your watch is broken."

"Hmmm," said the man slowly examining the watch, "It seems to be running an hour fast..."

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

What tea do footballers drink ?Penaltea !

by (few years ago!)
A PARTICULARLY HARD


A nun dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter says to her, "I'm sure you've lead a virtuous life, Sister, but before I can let you into heaven, you must answer one question. What," asks St. Peter,"were Eve's first words when she saw Adam?"

"Boy," says the nun, "that's a hard one."

"That's right!" says St. Peter, and the pearly gates open wide

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Education - 2

"Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done .... {Cachunk!}"

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes

Two old Irishmen were sitting at the local pub drinking a few beers.

So, Thomas O'Ryan said to Liam Halloren, "Liam, me buddy, me ol' pal. When I die would you please pour a couple of beers o'er me grave?"

Liam said, "Why certainly, but could I pour it through me bladder first?"

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What dogs are best for sending telegrams Wihaired terriers.

by (few years ago!)
Presidential Debate Drinking Game

Since I couldn’t find a good drinking game for the upcoming Presidential debates online, I decided to write one myself. There are three parts to this game. The first section applies to either candidate, and the next two are specific to John Kerry or George W. Bush. Part A – Either Candidate Have a small drink or a gulp of beer if either candidate says….. a. Iran b. Iraq c. North Korea d. Afghanistan e. Sudan f. Libya g. Axis of Evil h. Gay Marriage i. United Nations j. Tax Cuts Have a larger drink, or shot of booze if either candidate says…… a. Saddam Hussein b. Osama Bin Ladden c. Al Qaeda d. September 11th or 9/11 or World Trade Center e. WMD / Weapons of Mass Destruction f. Homeland Security g. Nuclear Proliferation h. If either candidate doesn’t answer the question given to them i. If either candidate goes over the time limit per question (flashing red light) Part B – George W. Bush Have a small drink or a gulp of beer If George W. Bush says….. a. Uhhh….. b. If George Bush stutters c. Florida d. Mentions anything about the Alliance in Iraq e. Tony Blair f. Dick Cheney g. Terrorist or Terrorism Have a larger drink, or shot of booze if George W. Bush…… a. Miss-pronounces “nuclear” b. Mentions a John Kerry “Flip Flop” c. Mentions anything else about John Kerry’s voting record d. Says “War on Terra” e. Says “Evil-Doers” f. Says anything connecting Saddam Hussein to the September 11th attacks g. Commits a “Bushism” – meaning he says something that doesn’t make any sense Chug a bottle of Bacardi 151 if George W. Bush a. Chokes on a pretzel Part C – John Kerry Have a small drink or a gulp of beer If John Kerry says….. a. [Any Number] Billion Dollars b. Mentions anything about his wife Teresa Heinz Kerry c. Four More Years d. Anything about the economy e. No Child Left Behind f. Last Resort g. Mentions anything about how many troops have been killed in Iraq h. John Edwards Have a larger drink, or shot of booze if John Kerry…… a. Mentions “Mission Accomplished” b. Mentions anything about Vietnam c. Mentions anything about Purple Hearts d. Mentions anything about George W. Bush’s service in the National Guard e. Mentions anything about Bush administration “misjudgments” f. Mentions anything about unemployment or loss of jobs under the Bush administration

by (few years ago!)
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