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Blonde jokes

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by nand she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the snow plow got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said Well, Im done with the Wal Mart lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart

by (few years ago!) / 6367 views
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Marriage jokes

How do you know when youre at a hillbilly wedding?A: Everyone is sitting on the same side of the church.

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Blonde jokes

Did you hear about the two females who were watching a blonde walk by? The first one said, "I wonder whether shes a natural blonde or a bleached blonde." Her friend said, "Shes a suicide blonde."The other said, "Suicide blonde? Whats that?"The friend said, "Dyed by her own hand!"

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kid jokes

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered: "Thou shall not kill."

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Dog jokes

I just spotted a Chihuahua! That wasnt very nice, you shouldnt draw on dogs!

by (few years ago!)
SWITCHING SIDES


A life long supporter of the labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party.

"But why?" asked his puzzled friend, "You're labour through and through… Why change now?"

The man learned forward and explained, "Well, I'd rather it was one of them that died and not one of us."

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Dog jokes

What did the dog get when he multiplied 497 by 684?The wrong answer.

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computer jokes

A friend of mine had a brilliant idea for saving disk space. He thought if he put all his Microsoft Word documents into a tiny font they would take up less room.

When he told me, I was with another friend. She, a blonde, thought it was a good idea too!

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes

Two Swedish guys get off a ship and head for the nearest bar at the pier.

Each one orders two whiskeys and immediately downs them. They then order two more whiskeys apiece, and quickly throw them back. They then order another two whiskeys apiece.

One of the men picks up one of his drinks, and turning to the other man, says, "Skoal!"

by (few years ago!)
The amazing flying dog

A woman is out looking for a pet, and so she's trying the local pet shops. She walks into a small pet shop and explains her need to the attendant. He thinks for a moment and then says, "I've got just the thing for you madam. I'll just get him."

With that, he disappears into the back of the shop, and returns a few seconds later with a cute little puppy. "This dog is a special dog," he tells her. "It is able to fly," he explains, and with that throws the dog into the air. It immediately begins to float gracefully around the shop.

"There is one problem with him, however. Whenever you say 'my', he'll eat whatever you've mentioned. Watch. "My apple!" The lady watches in astonishment as the dog zooms over to the shop attendant and furiously devours an apple he has produced from his pocket.

"He's cute, and so unusual. I'll take him," she says, and a few minutes later she is on her way back home with dog to show her husband.

"Darling, look what a clever pet I bought today!" she exclaims when she gets back home. "He can fly!"

The husband peers at the dog, and then remarks, "Fly eh? Ha! My foot!"

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

Why do little boys whine?Because theyre practicing to be men.

by (few years ago!)
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