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QUOTES FROM EMPLOYEE APPRAISAL REPORTS

Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

I would not allow this associate to breed.

Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

He would be out of his depth in a puddle.

This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

This associate should go far - and the sooner he starts the better.

This associate is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

by (few years ago!) / 16520 views
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Why did the dogs owner think his dog was a great mathematician?When he asked the dog what six minus six was, the dog said nothing.

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Jokes And Funny Stories About Animals - 3

An infant rabbit was orphaned. Fortunately though, a family of squirrels took it in and raised it as if it were one of their own. This adoption led to some peculiar behaviors on the part of the rabbit, including a tendency for it to eschew jumping but rather to embrace running around like its step-siblings. As the rabbit grew up, however, it soon faced an identity crisis. It went to its step-parents to discuss the problem. It said how it felt different from its step-siblings, was unsure of its place in the universe, and was generally forlorn. Their response was,
"Don't scurry, be hoppy."

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Business jokes

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "were doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "Were short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. "I cant give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith "I knew I could count on you!"

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Blonde jokes

In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth -- if you lie, you disappear. One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first. "I think Im the smartest woman on earth." "POOF!" She disappears. The redhead goes up to try. p> "I think Im the prettiest woman on earth." "POOF!" She disappears. The blonde goes up. "I think--" "POOF!"

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Alsation: Why do you like to go on camping trips? Chihuahua: I like to "ruff it!

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An Indian from a nearby reservation went to a whorehouse and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered, he said, "Me want woman!" The Madam looked at him kind of funny and said, "You want a woman huh?" He replied, "Yes. Me want woman. Me got money."

"But do you have experience?" the Madam asked. "Experience?" asked the Indian. "Have you done this before?" "No, but me want woman. Me got money."

The madam laughed and said, "I'll tell you what honey. You go out into the forest over there and practice with the knotholes in those trees, and when you know what you're doing, you come back and see me."

The Indian went out into the forest and found a knothole to practice. The next week he went back to the whorehouse and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered, he exclaimed, "Me want woman. Me got experience!" So the Madam sent him upstairs with one of her girls.

When they got upstairs, the Indian told her to take off her clothes and bend over. When she did, he took out a 2x4 and smacked her on the ass. "What the hell did you do that for!" she exclaimed.

"Me check for bees." replied the Indian.

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One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a Lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town. "I'm lookin' for the meanest toughest and roughest hooker in the Yukon," he said to the bartender.

"We got he," replied the bartender. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right." The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the hooker and two beers.

He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked the door open on the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm looking for the meanest roughest and toughest hooker in the Yukon."

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Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

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The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning."

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Blonde jokes

What do you call a blonde holding a balloon?A: Siamese twins.

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