Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

How to Annoy Your Co Workers

1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you.
3) Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only
by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but
I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachie."
4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what
you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as
often since you did this.
6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive. Call
everyone Madge.
7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge
to get coffee, a printout, or whatever, slap yourself at random the whole way.
8) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell
people you're waiting for your document.
9) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask him or
her if they want fries with that.
10) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself, engaging yourself in an
intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the
disagreement.
11) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized
chair-dancing.
12) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN".
13) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
14) Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza, donuts, or cake
in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none,
lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
15) Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has
withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

by (few years ago!) / 616 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

The Perfect Scam

Australian Police have been unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam:

A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem reasonable, people place orders and make payments via check.

After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be prosecuted. So they return their customers' money in the form of a company check.

However, due to the name of the company, few people will present these checks to their banks.

The name of the company: "The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company."

by (few years ago!)
intelligent Dog

A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI.
"Well," says the personnel director, "you'll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute.
" Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute.
"Also," says the director, "you must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course."
This perfect canine specimen finishes the course in record time.

"There's one last requirement," the director continues; "you must be bilingual." With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says, "Meow!"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make up exam

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What is the definition of gross ignorance?A: 144 blondes.

by (few years ago!)
CLINTON'S BIGGEST BILL


President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him.

"What is it?" exclaims the President.

"It's the Abortion Bill, Mr. President - what do you want to do about it?"

"Just go ahead and pay it."

by (few years ago!)
SCENE OF THE ACCIDENT


A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but, amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

The priest replies, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God."

The rabbi continues, "And look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Morgen David wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then he hands the bottle to the priest. The priest agrees, takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap on, and hands it back to the priest.

The priest asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The rabbi replies, "No...I think I'll wait for the police."

by (few years ago!)
THE YOUNG BUSINESSMAN

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Computers manufacturer is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up tothe tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and landsin the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto thegreen.Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over thefairway and lands in the water trap.Jesus just walks on the water and chips the ball onto the green. Theold man steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing overthe fairway and heads for the water trap. But, just before it fallsinto the water, a fish jumps up and grabs the ball in its mouth. As thefish is falling back down into the water, an eagle swoops down and grabs the fish in its claws. The eagle flies over the green where alightning bolt shoots from the sky and barely misses it. Startled, theeagle drops the fish. When the fish hits the ground, the ball pops outof its mouth and rolls into the hole for a hole-in -one.Jesus then turns to the old man and says, "Dad, if you dont stopfooling around, we wont bring you next time."

by (few years ago!)
Email Commandments

E-MAIL COMMANDMENTS

Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line.

Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needest.

Thou shalt read thine own message thrice before sendest it.

Thou shalt ponder how thy recipient might react to thy message.

Thou shalt check thy spelling and thy grammar.

Thou shalt not curse, flame, spam or USE all CAPS.

Thou shalt not forward any chain letter.

Thou shalt not rely on the privacy of email, especially from work.

Thou shalt not use email for any illegal or unethical purpose.

When in doubt, save thy message overnight and reread it in the light of the dawn.

And, the Golden Rule of email:
That which thou findest hateful to receive, sendest thou not unto others.

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Blonde jokes

Train

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

QUOTES FROM EMPLOYEE APPRAIS..

EAGER TO IMPRESS THE BOSS

Blonde jokes

Pain Killers

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context