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How to Annoy Your Co Workers

1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you.
3) Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only
by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but
I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachie."
4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what
you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as
often since you did this.
6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive. Call
everyone Madge.
7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge
to get coffee, a printout, or whatever, slap yourself at random the whole way.
8) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell
people you're waiting for your document.
9) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask him or
her if they want fries with that.
10) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself, engaging yourself in an
intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the
disagreement.
11) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized
chair-dancing.
12) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN".
13) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
14) Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza, donuts, or cake
in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none,
lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
15) Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has
withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

by (few years ago!) / 641 views
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Similar Jokes

FATHER FORGIVE ME...


A married man goes to confessional and says to the priest, "Father, I had an affair with a woman... almost."

"What do you mean almost?" question the priest.

"Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

"Rubbing together is the same as putting it in," explains the priest. "You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."

The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, and then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then decides to leave.

The priest quickly runs over to the man and exclaims, "I saw that... you didn't put any money in the poor box!"

"Well Father, I rubbed up against it and, like you said, it's the same as putting it in!"

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way.The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wifes dentures... and I couldnt stop talking!

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What kind of dog is the smartest A great brain

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with.I dyed my hair !

by (few years ago!)
Question and Answer Christmas Jokes

Q: What do elves learn in school?
Christmas Present
A: The Elf-abet!

Q: Whats the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: I dont like sprouts !

Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Why was Santas little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde sister

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

by (few years ago!)
Good & bad lawyers

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer

by (few years ago!)
Best Excuses if You Get Caught Sleeping at Your Desk - Part I

They told me at the blood bank this might happen.

This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.

I was working smarter - not harder.

Whew! I must have left the top off the liquid paper.

I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!

This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!

I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

I'm in the management training program. I'm actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP) that I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.

This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!

by (few years ago!)
Stop The Blonde Jokes

A blonde nun was praying in her room one night when God appeared before her.
"My daughter, you have pleased me greatly," God said. "Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. My reason for coming to you is not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish."

"Dear Heavenly Father," the nun replied, "I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love most. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways."

"Think hard, my child, there must be something you would have of me," God said.

"Well, Heavenly Father, there is one thing," replied the nun.

"Name it, my child," God said.

"It's those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just me. I would very much like for blonde jokes to stop," the nun said.

"Consider it done," said God. "Blonde jokes shall be striken from the minds of humans forever. But surely there is something I could do just for you."

"There is one thing," replied the nun, "but it is very small, and really not worth your time."

"Name it. Please," God said.

"It's the M&Ms, Heavenly Father," explained the nun. "They're so difficult to peel!"

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A wealthy man sat in his attorneys office."Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?"the lawyer asked."Give me the bad news first.""Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.""Thats the bad news?" the man asked incredulously."I cant wait to hear the terrible news.""Its of you and your mistress."

by (few years ago!)
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