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Zoo jokes

What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses?Nothing, he didnt recognize them!

by (few years ago!) / 739 views
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FIRE ENGINE

As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing.

Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath.

In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine,
"If that's the way you want it, you can keep your bloody ice creams!"

by (few years ago!)
DRUNK DRIVING


One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar waiting to catch any drunk drivers. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.

Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyser test.

The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be.

The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy."

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

Q: Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine?A: It depends on the age.

by (few years ago!)
Women Jokes

Conclusion:

Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.

Moral:

Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

Two big, buff, blonde guys were on the beach, trying their best to impress the local babes.

The first blonde dude said, "I'm not having much luck with the women here, pal.

The second blonde guy said, "Try putting a potato down in your swimming trunks. The babes will love that."

Three or four hours later, the first blonde dude remarked, "Hey man. I tried that potato trick you told me about, and it seems like I'm getting shunned even worse than before."

Said the second blonde dude, looking his bud over: "Uh, Dude! Try putting that potato down the FRONT of your trunks."

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

by (few years ago!)
A QUICK SPELLING TEST


The teacher told her class the word of the day was "dictate" and asked who could spell it.

George raised his hand and he spelled out, "d-i-k-t-a-t-e."

The teacher said, "sorry that's wrong" Then she asked Stephen.

Stephen slowly spelled out, "d-i-c-k-t-a-t-e."

"Sorry" says the teacher, "that's not right either."

Next, she asked Fiona After a slight pause Fiona began spelling, "d-i-c-t-a-t-e."

"Very good Fiona," applauded the teacher, "that's correct. Now," the teacher continued, "who can use this word in a sentence?"

Stephen raised his hand quick as a flash shouting, "I know-Iknow,"

"OK" replied the teacher, "please use the word Stephen."

Stephen responded, "How did my dictate last night, Fiona?"

by (few years ago!)
Fun With Blondes ~ Jokes, Humor, Pics

This "fun with blondes" web page is chock full of new clean jokes, hilarious humor, one-liners, cute cartoons, and funny photos about all those lovable dumb blondes. You'll find cheating boyfriends, car wrecks, golf & tennis, ice fishing, rafting, gambling, luxury cruises, desert islands, and yes, some sexy encounters. But there's NO porn and NO annoying banner or pop-up ads! Enjoy

by (few years ago!)
THE DEAF DRUNKS

A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using sign language to speak to them When the bartender returned to him, the man asked how he had learned to use sign language. The bartender explained that these were regular customers and had taught him to speak in sign.

The man thought that was great A few minutes later the man noticed that the people in the group were waving their hands around very wildly.

The bartender looked over and signed "Now cut that out! I warned you!" and threw the group out of the bar

The man asked why he had done that and the bartender said I told them once I told them 100 times - NO SINGING IN THE BAR!"

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What kind of dog is a persons best friend? A palmatian!

by (few years ago!)
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