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Zoo jokes

I took my son to the zoo yesterday. Really, did they accept him?

by (few years ago!) / 542 views
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Blonde jokes

Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it??A: No one the first four dont exsist and the other blonde thought it was a gumwraper!

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What did the blondes mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl?"Just flush it like everybody else does."

by (few years ago!)
Kitty Porn - Part I

It happens an estimated 2000 times a day, but this time, it's different. The picture shows a naked six-year-old, whom we will call Katrina, helplessly tied in thin blue yarn. And what is perhaps even more disturbing, the man distributing the picture is Katrina's legal guardian.

To this date, no legal action has been taken and Katrina is still in the custody of "Flea." Why has justice failed Katrina? Why has the law not intervened? The answer is simple: Katrina is a cat.

The problem is growing. Each day it is estimated that as many as twenty pictures of young cats go up on the Internet without their knowledge or consent. With a computer and phone line, anyone, even children, can easily find and view these pictures.

In fact, in a frightening new trend, children themselves are increasingly responsible for taking and distributing these startling pictures. What is to be done? Where does free speech end, and compassion begin?

In a recent study conducted by Johnny Little it is estimated that there are over a million billion pictures of cats on the Internet. That number is expected to rise by some 3,000,000% over the next year. Projections for the year 2,010 show that there will be more cat pictures on the internet than molecules of oxygen in the atmosphere.

Of course some critics have questioned Johnny's study pointing to the fact that Johnny is only ten and a half and call the study "dangerous, unfounded fiction" Supporters claim it's not dangerous at all. Both sides agree however that it would be impossible to come up with accurate numbers, so we'll use these.

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

What did the bumble bee striker say?Hive scored!

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

You have just received the "Kentucky Virus"!!!As we aint got no programin experience, this here Virus works on the honor system.Please delete all the files on your hard drive, and manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list.Thanks for your cooperation.

by (few years ago!)
Here is a free puppy

The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had.

He goes up to the girl and says, "Little girl, I think that it's wonderful that you're doing such a good thing."

The little girl says, "Thank you, Mr. Clinton. Would you like a puppy? They're Democrats."

Bill declines and jogs onward. The next day Billy jogs past the same girl and decides to talk to her again. "You know what, little girl? I think I'll take one of those puppies after all, seeing as how they're Democrats."

The girl says, "I'm sorry Mr. Clinton, but they're not Democrats any more. They're Republican now."

Bill says, "They are? How do you know? As a matter of fact, how did you know that they were Democrats at first to begin with?"

She says, "Well, just after they were born they were Democrats, but now their eyes are open."

by (few years ago!)
BAR JOKES - WALKE IN A BAR

A bear walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve bears."

The bear demands a drink, but the bartender keeps refusing. Finally, the bear, glancing over at a woman sitting on a stool near him, says, "Either give me a drink, or I'll bite off the arm of this woman sitting next to me."
The bartender still refuses, so the bear leans over and bites off her arm. "Now, get me a drink, or I'll bite off her other arm too."

The bartender says, "Sorry, man, it's not my policy. We don't serve bears."
So the bear takes off her other arm. "Now get me a drink, or else I'll finish her off."

But the bartender says no again, so the bear turns around, eats the rest of the women, and says, "Now get me a drink, or you're next."
The bartender shrugs. "Sorry, we don't serve people who take drugs."

The bear says, "I haven't taken any drugs."
But the bartender replies, "Well, that was a barbiturate."

by (few years ago!)
Wedding Jokes and Quotes

Here are some pretty good jokes about nuptials, weddings, tying the knot. You get the idea

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Whats another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums? A: The warning label

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

Who was the best actor in the bible ?Samson, he brought the house down !

by (few years ago!)
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