Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

Zoo jokes

A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lions mouth," the vet told him."How do I do that?" he asked Carefully replied the vet

by (few years ago!) / 588 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

The top ten reasons why the television is better than the World Wide Web

10. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.

9. When was the last time you tuned in to "Melrose Place" and got a "Error 404" message?

8. There are fewer grating color schemes on TV--even on MTV.

7. The family never argues over which Web site to visit this evening.

6. A remote control has fewer buttons than a keyboard.

5. Even the worst TV shows never excuse themselves with an "Under Construction" sign.

4. Seinfeld never slows down when a lot of people tune in.

3. You just can't find those cool Health Rider infomercials on the Web.

2. Set-top boxes don't beep and whine when you hook up to HBO.

1. You can't surf the Web from a couch with a beer in one hand and Doritos in the other.

by (few years ago!)
Elephant Jokes

What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?
Time to fix the fence!


What's big, gray and flies straight up?
An elecopter!


What's gray, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill?
A get wellephant!


What's gray and goes round and round?
An elephant in a washing machine!


What's gray and highly dangerous?
An elephant with a machine gun!


What's big and gray and lives in a lake in Scotland?
The Loch Ness Elephant!


What's big and gray and has 16 wheels?
An elephant on roller skates!


Policeman: "One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle."
Zoo Keeper: "Nonsense, none of my elephants knows how to ride a bicycle!"


Why do the elephants have short tails?
Because they can't remember long stories!


How to you keep an elephant in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!


What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper?
You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant!


What's the difference between an elephant and a banana?
Have you ever tried to peel an elephant?


What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?
About 3,000 miles!


What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry?
A gooseberry is green!


Teacher: " To which family does the elephant belong?"
Pupil: " I don't know, nobody I know owns one!"


How do you spell elephant?
E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t
"That's not how the dictionary spells it"
"You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it!"


Teacher: "Name six wild animals"
Pupil: " Four elephants and two lions!"


What do elephants sing at Christmas?
Noel-ephants, Noel-ephants... Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus!


What's the difference between an injured elephant and bad weather?
One roars with pain and the other pours with rain!


What's the difference between an elephant and a post box?
I don't know!


What's gray and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds?
An elephant with hiccups!


What goes up slowly and comes down quickly?
An elephant in a lift!


What's as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
An elephant's shadow!


When should you feed milk to a baby elephant?
When it's a baby elephant!


How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
When your nose touches the ceiling!


What do you call an elephant that flies?
A jumbo jet

Why did the elephant cross the road?
Because the chicken was having a day off!


What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
Lost!


Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
Because they couldn't hold their trunks up.

by (few years ago!)
lawyer jokes

Now that lawyers can advertise, says one reporter,
you had better brace yourself for the
following pitch from one who specializes in divorces:
"Satisfaction guaranteed or your honey back

by (few years ago!)
What Is Politics?

What Is Politics?

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep poo.

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Freds test paper.Pupil: I hope you didnt see me either!

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

At the end of the night a man leaves the bar. Outside he sees a nun. He walks over to her and slaps her in the face. Then he punches her in the stomach and knocks her over. He proceeds to kick her several times and when hes done he bends down to her and says, "not so tough tonight, are you Batman?"

by (few years ago!)
How many programmers?

How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, that's a hardware problem!

by (few years ago!)
I'VE GOT A BEAR BEHIND


Bill's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska. The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a big black bear.

The black bear says, "You've got two choices. One, I maul you to death or two, we have sex."

He bends over for the bear. He's sore for 2 days, but he recovers and vows revenge.
Bill heads out on another trip to Alaska and he finds the black bear and kills him. At that moment there is a tap on his shoulder. A huge grizzly is standing right behind him.
The grizzly says, "That was a big mistake. You've got 2 choices, "Either I maul you to death or we have sex."

Bill bends over. He survives, but he's really hurting and takes quite a bit of time to recover, and, he's outraged!

Sure enough, he heads back to Alaska and finds the grizzly and shoots him at point blank range. There's a tap on his shoulder. He turns around to find an enormous polar bear.

The polar bear says, "You don't really come here for the hunting, do you?

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

by (few years ago!)
Misc Jokes

Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause.

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Train

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

QUOTES FROM EMPLOYEE APPRAIS..

EAGER TO IMPRESS THE BOSS

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Pain Killers

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context