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How To Sell Lawnmowers

A young man just got a new
job running the register at a store. The old-timer said he would teach him how to sell
things. "Watch how I do it" he said to the new hire as a man came up to the
counter.

The customer put a bag of
grass seed on the counter. The old-timer then said to him "You know when you plant
those seeds and the grass starts growing you're going to need a new lawnmower to cut that
grass." "You know," said the man, "I do need to get a new mower, sure
I'll take one."

After the customer left,
the new kid said, "I think I see what you mean. Let me handle this next one." A
man then stepped up to the counter and set down a box of tampons. The young salesman then
said, "You know you should get you a new lawnmower to go with that."

The man then asked the
young salesman, "What are you talking about?" "Well," he said,
"It looks like your weekend's shot so you might as well cut the grass!"

by (few years ago!) / 764 views
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ON A PRESSING MATTER OF STATE

President Vladimir Putin called President Bush with an emergenc condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried; "My people's favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaste Boris, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you.", replied the President.

"I do need your help," said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tie us over?"

"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!", said Bush.

"Oh, and one more small favour, please?", said Putin.

"Yes?", replied the President.

"Could the condoms be red in colour and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Yeltsin.

"No problem," replied the President and with that Bush hung up and called the President of Trojan condoms. "I need a favour, you've got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to Russia."

"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.

"Great! Now listen, they have to be red in colour, 10" long and 4" wide."

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Alligator Shoes

A young blonde was onvacation in the depths of Louisiana.

She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in theworst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blondeshouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.

Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.

She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.

Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement.

Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

by (few years ago!)
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