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Blonde jokes

Why do blondes occupy about 90% of the net bandwidth? A: Because they keep accidentally deleting their copies of the blonde joke list.

by (few years ago!) / 579 views
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Jokes And Funny Stories About Marriage - 2

This is page 2 of jokes and funny stories about marriage and married life.

by (few years ago!)
Non Joking Ivorians

There is another team in the so-called group of death that hails from the continent of Africa.This team has players with special characters as well.

Many of these players honed their skills while running to school mostly barefooted as children.This aspect has worked to their advantage,such that they can outsprint a cheetah.This aspect of their game works for them such that when they get the ball,they end up leaving their opponents gasping for breath.

The only terrible aspect about it,is that they sometimes lose control of their braking system,so they find themselves running into people in the stands who are watching.

They also have well developed muscles.Their bulging muscular frames usually make someone think that some additional sort of material has been fixed inside their bodies.They resemble more of body builders than soccer players.

Thsi works to their advantage,because when an opponent just looks at their advancing frames,one usually leaves the ball alone and flees to the referee for refuge,so that he does not get hospitalised by the weird combination of speed and fridge-shaped bodies.

They acquire these types of physique by eating a double share of some traditional african food which contains some special properties than can bulge up the thinnest person to herculean proportions in just one day.

by (few years ago!)
INHERITANCE BLUES

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?"
My mother died in August," his friend replied, "and left me £25,000. Then in September my father died, leaving me £90,000."

"Losing both parents in two months. No wonder you're depressed."

"And last month my aunt died, and left me £15,000." His friend continued.

"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad."
Then this month," concluded, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"

by (few years ago!)
Lawyer jokes

At a convention of biological scientists, one prominant researcher remarked to another, "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?"

"Really?" the other researcher replied. "Why did you switch?"

"Well, for three reasons. First we found that lawyers are far more plentiful. Second, the lab assistants don't get so attached to them, and thirdly there are some things even a rat won't do."

by (few years ago!)
10 Signs of A Bad Computer

10) Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.

9) It's celebrity spokesman is that "Hey Vern!" guy.

8) In order to start it you need some jumper cables and a friend's car.

7) It's slogan is "Pentium: redefining mathematics".

6) The "quick reference" manual is 120 pages long.

5) Whenever you turn it on, all the dogs in your neighborhood start howling.

4) The screen often displays the message, "Ain't it break time yet?"

3) The manual contains only one sentence: "Good Luck!"

2) The only chip inside is a Dorito.

1) You've decided that your computer is an excellent addition to your fabulous paperweight collection.

by (few years ago!)
THREE DUMB BLONDES


There were three dumb blonde guys on an island who found an old pot and started rubbing at it, when suddenly out popped a genie. The genie told them that he only could grant 3 wishes so they would each get one.

The first guy asked the genie to make him smarter so he got turned into a red-head.

The second guy wanted to be even smarter than the first, so the genie turned him into a brunette.

Then the last guy wished to be even smarter than both his friends so the genie turned him into a woman.

by (few years ago!)
Eunichs

A lady on the airplane strikes up a conversation with the fellow sitting in the next seat, "..and where are you going?"

"I'm going to San Francisco to a Unix convention," he replies.

"Eunuchs convention?" she questions. "I didn't know there were that many of you."

by (few years ago!)
Mountain Bike

A man came back from a long business trip to find that his son had a new $300 mountain bike.

"How'd you get that, son?"

"By hiking."

"Hiking?"

"Yeah, every night, Mom's boss came over and gave me $20 to take a hike."

by (few years ago!)
lawyer jokes

God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. When Satan heard this, he laughed and said, "And exactly where do you think you're going to find a lawyer

by (few years ago!)
YOU KNOW YOU'RE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET WHEN...

Your bookmarks takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

• You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.

• All of your friends have an @ in their names.

• You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Excite.

• You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

• Your phone bill is delivered in a box.

• You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

• The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.

• You forget what year it is.

• You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited."

by (few years ago!)
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