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Blonde jokes

One day 3 women went to the top of a water flume in a swimming pool. There was a black haired, brown haired, and a blonde haired woman.When they got to the top a genie appeared from nowhere and said when your going down the flume shout out the on thing that you want and you will land in it at the bottom. So the black haired woman went down and shouted "money" and landed in a load of cash, the brown haired woman went down and shouted "gorgous men!" and landed in a pile of men. The blonde woman wasnt listening to the genie so she went down shouting we

by (few years ago!) / 480 views
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Women jokes

A few women were discussing diet tips. When it was mentioned that getting enough exercise and sleep were just as important as watching food intake, one woman responded with surprise that sleep was a factor. Another replied: "Of course sleep is a factor. The only time Im not eating is when Im sleeping!"

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were. One was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third was a chemist, and the fourth was a government worker.

To show off, the engineer called to his dog, "T-Square, do your stuff." T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a square, circle and triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But, the accountant said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He then divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.

But the chemist said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10-oz. glass from the cupboard and poured exactly eight ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was pretty impressive.

The three men turned to the government worker and said, "What can your dog do?" The government worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, took a crap on the paper, had sex with the other three dogs. Then Coffee Break claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for worker's compensation and then went home for the rest of the day on sick leave. They all agreed that dog was bloody brilliant.

by (few years ago!)
computer jokes

Bunny and Bob, two frequent users of a chat room, discovered that they had a lot in common. Eventually, they abandoned the chat room for a more intimate correspondence.

After months of virtual kinky-ness, the two decided to meet each other face-to-face at a small cafe. Bunny arrived a little late

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?A: Some traffic signs say stop.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Education - 2

"What do you do?" a man asked a pretty girl at a party. "I'm an infant teacher."
"Good gracious! l thought you were at least 26."

by (few years ago!)
Trump Jr.: 'Death Threat Wedding Speech Was A Joke'

Ivana Trump's son was joking when he threatened to kill his mother's new husband, Rossano Rubicondi, at the couple's wedding last month. Donald Trump Jr. handed over his mother to her Italian fiance with a chilling warning for the 35-year-old groom.

He remarked in front of the wedding's 500 guests: "We are a construction company and we have job sites, we lose people. You better treat her right, because I have a .45 and a shovel."

And though Trump Jr. admits he has spoken to the groom "man to man" about an incident when his mother called police to remove Rubicondi from her home earlier this year, he insists the speech was all in good fun.

He says, "Rossano's always been straight up with me. If he treats her with respect, that's all you can ask."

The couple wed in a lavish ceremony at the Palm Beach, Fla., estate of Trump's ex-husband, property mogul Donald.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why couldnt the blonde add 10 and 7 on a calulator? A: She couldnt find the 10 key.

by (few years ago!)
computer jokes

They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously for several lines of code streaming up the screen. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can removea "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me theexact words that were used to put the curse on you."The old man says without hesitation"I now pronounce you man and wife".

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes

Sign by a urinal:

"The same guy who removes
the cigarette butts from the urinal,
also puts the ice in your drinks."
After a few beers, Bill and Phil both head to the mens' room.

Bill said to Phil, "I wish I had one like my cousin Ralph. He needs four fingers, to hold his."

"You're holding yours with four fingers now," replied Phil.

"Yeah, but I'm peeing on three of 'em!" complained Bill

by (few years ago!)
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