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Blonde jokes

I looked into a blondes eyes but all I saw was the back of her heard

by (few years ago!) / 1011 views
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Misc Jokes

A lady who was about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well, your Honor. It was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sign that read: 'The Gold Dust Twins Are Coming,' and I had to smile."

"Then she moved and sat under a sign that read: 'Sloan's Liniment Will Reduce the Swelling,' and I had to grin."

"Then she placed herself under a sign that read: 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly control myself."

"But, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that read: 'Goodyear Rubber Could Have Prevented This Accident,' I laughed out loud."

"Case Dismissed." replied the Judge.

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Customer: "Im running Windows 95." Tech: "Yes." Customer: "My computer isnt working now." Tech: "Yes, you said that."

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked. "Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee." "Oh, thats awful!" "Youre not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders?A: So they dont get a concussion while bobbing their from head side to side as they are saying "I dont know?" whenever you ask them a question.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How did the blonde kill her toy poodle?A: Trying to put batteries in it.

by (few years ago!)
Funny Animal Joke

Onces upon time, when landlords have great dog hunters. One of them has a dog that has just 30 cm tall. It is a funny animal.

When he walked around the city center, he met Sir Alex who has a big frightened bulldog.

Then he said "hey stranger, you have

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

The attendants don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot what he said to get her to move.

The copilot replies, "I told her that the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica".

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why did the blonde run out of shampoo? She kept following the instructions: lather, rinse, repeat!

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

There was a fly that was flying around a stick. But what the fly didn't know, was that a frog was watching him. The frog was thinking, "If that fly drops down six inches, I could get him. And, that would make me a good supper."

What the frog didn't know was that a fish was watching him. The fish was thinking, "If that fly dropped down six inches, the frog would get the fly, and then I could get that frog. And, that would make me a good supper."

What the fish didn't know was that a bear was watching him. The bear was thinking, "If that fly dropped down six inches, the frog would get the fly, the fish would get the frog, and then I could get the fish and that would make me a good supper."

by (few years ago!)
Funny Animal Joke

An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead.

"Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"


by (few years ago!)
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