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Blonde jokes

How did the blonde kill her toy poodle?A: Trying to put batteries in it.

by (few years ago!) / 542 views
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Where do football directors go when they are fed up?The bored room!

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What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?A: They both have black roots.

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Bar jokes

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his fifth grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

"Now, class. Observe the worms closely," said the professor as he put the first worm into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.

Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

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Two Cows are talking through a fence. One cow says to the other, "You know, I'm really worried about this Mad Cow Disease." The other cow says to him, "I wouldn't be too worried about it. It can't affect us chickens."

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Bar jokes beer booze and fun

A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.The bartender asks the seal, "Whats your pleasure?"The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club."

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Our teacher talks to herself does yours ?Yes, but she doest realise it, she thinks were actually listening !

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How do you know a blonde has been using the computer A There is cheese in front of the mouse.

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Lee was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he senthis wife her alimony payment each month. When he was asked the reasonfor his haste he shivered and replied: "Im afraid that if I shouldever fall behind in the payments to that witch, she might well try torepossess me."

by (few years ago!)
TESTING TIMES

A man walks into a bar with a monkey he had just bought at the pet store. He sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The monkey jumps down off his shoulder and runs over to the pool table and ate the cue-ball.

The bartender says "Your monkey just ate the cue-ball! GET OUT NOW!" so the man picks up the monkey and leaves.

Two months later the same man comes back with the monkey on a leash. The monkey jumps off his shoulder and grabs a peanut, shoves it up his ass, pulls it out then eats it.

The bartender says " Did your monkey just shove a peanut up his ass then eat it?"

The man says "Yeah ever since the cue-ball incident he checks everything for size"

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However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time, and the same voice came over the line.

"Never mind," the drunk said with a hiccup. "I got in the back seat by mistake."

by (few years ago!)
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