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Blonde jokes

One day a blond went out to check her mail box. There was nothing in it. Her neighbor who was also out there gives her a weird look.An hour later she goes back out to her mailbox and goes back in cause there was nothing in it and her neighbor goes "What the hell is she doing?"An hour later she goes back out side and looks in the mailbox and there is nothing in it. Finally the neighbor gets curious enough to ask her what she is doing The blone says, "My stupid computer keeps saying youve got mail.

by (few years ago!) / 455 views
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Similar Jokes

A PASSING COMPLIMENT


A man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say "nice tie!". Looking around he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender at the end of the bar. A few sips later the voice said "beautiful shirt".

At this, the man called the bartender over. "Hey...I must be losing my mind," he told the bartender. "I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there's not a soul in here but us."

"It's the peanuts" answered the bartender.

"Say what?"

"You heard me" said the barkeep."it's the peanuts...they're complimentary.

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

This customer comes into the computer store. "Im looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, s...

by (few years ago!)
Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 3

What do you call a blonde with a leather jacket?
A: A rebel without a clue.

by (few years ago!)
I'm going ice fishing!

A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.

When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.

So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.

"How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde.

So the man cooly says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes. When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and drives off. When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test. The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0. The cop says, How is this possible? The guy says,Tonight Im the designated decoy.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Would you mind coming over and helping me out with this killer jigsaw puzzle I bought -- I cant figure out how to get started."Her friend asks, "Whats the puzzle of?""From the picture on the box, Id guess its a tiger," replied the blonde.The friend obliges, and when he arrives the blonde greets him at the front door and then shows him the puzzle spread out all over the table.He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. Then, he turns to her and says, "Im afraid that no matter what I do, Im not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of the tiger on the box.""Why not?" asks the disappointed blonde."Because, you didnt buy a jigsaw puzzle... what you have here is a box of Frosted Flakes."

by (few years ago!)
I am afraid of that tarmac

A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink. He just sits down when in walks a strip of tarmac.

The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic so he jumps over the bar and ducks down so it won't see him. The barman looks down at him and says, "What's the matter with you? Why are you hiding? You've got six lanes and two hard shoulders. Why are you frightened of a piece of tarmac?

The motorway replies, "You don't know him like I do. He's a cyclepath."

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

What did the bumble bee striker say ?Hive scored !

by (few years ago!)
A CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY

drunken man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologised and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

by (few years ago!)
Misc Jokes

In the traffic court of a large Midwestern city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer for a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case so she could get to the school on time.

A wild gleam came into the judge's eyes. "You're a schoolteacher, eh?" he said. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. I've waited years to have a schoolteacher in this court. Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not drive through red lights' 500 times!"

by (few years ago!)
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