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Blonde jokes

What is the blondes chronic speech impediment?A: She cant say "No".

by (few years ago!) / 532 views
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Women jokes

What is cosmetics? ANSWER: Cosmetics is a womans means for keeping a man from reading between the lines.

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Zoo jokes

My wife asked me to take her to the zoo the other day. I said, "If you want people to see you they can come here and do it!"

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Marriage jokes

"Get this." said the bloke to his mates, "Last night while I was down the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house."Did he get anything." his mates asked."yeah, a broken jaw and six teeth knocked out. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk."

by (few years ago!)
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk.

The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"

St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 150 years old!"

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Religious jokes

Whats the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?A: It only takes one nail to hang the picture.

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School jokes

How do bees get to school ?By school buzz !

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Sport jokes

How do hens encourage their football teams ?They egg them on !

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Bar jokes beer booze and fun

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "Thats not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "Thats not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How does a blonde high-5?A: She smacks herself in the forehead.

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Animal jokes

The man pays for his animals and begins to walk home. Along the way, the donkey stops and doesn't move.

The man has his arms full with the rooster and pullet, and stops a woman who was passing by. He says, "Pardon me, would you mind holding my cock and pullet, while I scratch my ass?"

by (few years ago!)
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