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Blonde jokes

What is the blondes chronic speech impediment?A: She cant say "No".

by (few years ago!) / 579 views
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Similar Jokes

Punished For Something That I Didn't Do

One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that
I didn't do."

The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that
you didn't do?"

The little girl replied, "My homework."

by (few years ago!)
Geography Lesson

The teacher called on Little Johnny to go to the map and point out where North America is.
Little Johnny looked the map over, found North America, and proudly said, "Here it is, right here!"

"Very good, Johnny," the teacher said. "Now, class, can you tell me who discovered North America?"

"Little Johnny!" the students shouted.

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

The world is divided into two groups. There are those who know, and those who dont know. Those who know are no problem.Those who dont know are also in two groups.One is those who dont know and know they dont know. Well, they can learn!But then, there are those who dont know, and dont know they dont know. And they become unit managers!

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?A. So she wouldnt wake up the sleeping pills.

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of Pupil: Life imprisonment !

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before and they had carefully preserved his hide. They tell this guy that they'll pay him well if he would dress up in the gorillas skin and pretend to be the gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo. Well, the guy has his doubts, but Hey! He needs the money, so he puts on the skin and goes out into the cage. The people all cheer to see him. He plays up to the audience and they just eat it up. This isn't so bad, he thinks, and he starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring, swinging around. During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He's terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help, Help!" The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest and hisses, "Shut up or we'll BOTH lose our jobs!"

by (few years ago!)
STRONGEST MAN COMPETITION


The local pub was so sure that its landlord was the strongest man around that it offered a standing £1,000 bet that no could beat him.

The challenge was that the landlord would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money.

Over the years many people had tried this, truck drivers, weightlifters and all had failed. Then one day this frail little fella with heavy rimmed spectacles came into the bar and asked if he could try the challenge.

After the laughter had subsided the landlord said that it was only fair that the man be given a chance at the bet, so he picked up a lemon and started squeezing. Once he was done he handed the remains to the little man who promptly squeezed out 4 more drops of juice onto the bar.

Everyone looked on in amazement as the landlord handed over the prize and asked "What do you do for a living that has given you such strength? Are you a lumberjack, weightlifter, what?"

"No" the man replied, "I work for the IRS.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

Why did the lazy person buy a tall dog? - A: So that they didnt have to bend down to pet it.

by (few years ago!)
Funny Animal Jokes

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"

The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What kind of dog always needs a shave A bearded collie!

by (few years ago!)
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Too Lazy

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