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Inventions by Idiots

1) Inflatable dart board. 2) Glow-in-the-dark sunglasses. 3) A book on how to read. 4) Solar-powered flashlight. 5) Screen door on a submarine.

by (few years ago!) / 710 views
(Rated 5 Stars - 1 votes)
 

Similar Jokes

KNOCK, KNOCK JOKES PARADISE

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's only a joke!

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Earl
Earl who?
Earl be glad to tell you when you open the door.

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Emma
Emma who?
Emma bit cold out here, will you let me in?

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Howl
Howl who?
Howl you know unless you open the door?

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Cargo beep beep!

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Aardvark
Aardvark who?
Aardvark a million miles, for one of your smiles...

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Cows
Cows who?
No they don't, they moo!

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Albert
Albert who?
Albert you don't know who it is!

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Twit2
Twit2 who?
You sound like an owl!

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Duey
Duey who?
Duey have to keep telling me Knock, knock jokes???

by (few years ago!)
THE GIRAFFE


A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe and says, "A beer for me, and one for the giraffe, please." So they proceed to drink. Then: "...a shot for me and one for the giraffe, too" And they keep drinking all evening.

Finally the giraffe passes out on the floor of the bar. The guy pays the tab and gets up to leave.
The bartender shouts out, "Hey! You're not going to leave that lying on the floor, are you?"

The guy replies "That's not a lion... it's a giraffe.

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes

These three guys are sitting at a bar arguing which one has the ugliest wife. The conversation begins to get heated to the point of the barkeeper telling them to get the hell out or shut up! In fact he says, "Why don't you settle it once and for all and just visit each others house and decide for yourselves."

"Damn Good idea," they agree, finish their drinks and make off for the first guy's house. Upon arriving he bangs on his door and the wife answers, she's not pretty and he turns to collect the bet from the other two. "Not so fast," says the second, "I got that beat."

by (few years ago!)
Dear Agony Aunt

Dear Editor,

I have two brothers, one works at Microsoft, the other was sentenced to death in the gas chamber.

My mother died of insanity when I was three years old, my two sisters are prostitutes and my father sells drugs.

Recently, I met a girl who was released from a reformatory where she served time for smothering her illegitimate child to death.

I love this girl very much and want to marry her.

My problem is this:

Shall I tell her about my brother who works at Microsoft?

Sincerely,
Larry

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How do you confuse a blonde?A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "Ill bet you $10 hell jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he wont," said the second guy.Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money."I cant take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five oclock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five oclock news too. I just didnt think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

How long does a United States Congressman serve? ANSWER: Until he gets caught.

by (few years ago!)
How can you tell a lawyer is lying?

How can you tell a lawyer is lying?

Other lawyers look interested.

by (few years ago!)
ARRIVING LATE FOR THE LECTURE

A certain professor arrived late for a lecture to find a most uncomplimentary drawing of himself on the blackboard Fuming, he asked the class joker in the front row, "Who, pray, was responsible for this atrocity

The joker won tremendous prestige with his reply, "I really don't know, but I strongly suspect its parents."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

A blondes house is on fire. She runs outside and yells, "Help me! My house is on fire! What do I do?!" Someone else yells, "Call 911!"The blonde yells back, "Whats the number?"

by (few years ago!)
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