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Dog jokes

Why are Chihuahuas such good bedtime storytellers? They have short tales!

by (few years ago!) / 733 views
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Not So Saved by the Bell

The preacher was very distraught after the death of the bell ringer the day before and didn't know what to do. He began the search for another bell ringer. Many people tried, but none could match the talents of the bell ringer he had before.

Finally, when the priest had all but given up hope, an armless man came to apply for the job. The priest was ready to turn him away, how could an armless man do justice to the bells of his church?

The man pleaded with him and told him he was the brother of the man who died the day before. When the priest heard that he decided that out of respect for his brother he must allow him to try.

The man thanked the priest and began to throw his shoulder into the bell. The priest could hardly believe the wonderful tones coming from the bells. As the priest was about to appoint him the bell ringer the man ran once more for the bell. But this time he tripped and fell to his death on the street.

The priest ran out and a large crowd had gathered. Someone shouted ''Does any one know this man? ''

To which the priest replied, '' I don't know his name but he's a dead ringer for his brother''

by (few years ago!)
The Boss

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''
The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.''

''What about the green one?'' the man asks.

The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.''

''What about the red one?'' the man asks.

The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.''

The man says, ''What does HE do?''

The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain andAbel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boysasked, "Whats that?" Adam replied, "Boys, thats where your mother ateus out of house and home."

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises frominside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floorof the living room naked. Wife yells, "help, help, I am havinga heart attack", the husband runs in the other room to call thedoctor when one of his kids run up to him and says "daddy, daddy,there is a naked man in the closet", husband opens the closetdoor and sees his friend Bob. He yells at Bob, "Bob, god damn it,my wife is having a heart attack and here you are trying to scarethe kids"!!!

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

Once upon a time Dracula decided to carry some sort of a competition to see which is the finest bat to stand on his side. So all the bats were honored to take part. The rules were simple. Whichever bat drinks more blood, will be the winner? So the first bat goes and comes back after 10 minutes. Her mouth was full of blood. Dracula says: "Congratulations, how did you do that?" The bat said: "Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a house. I went in and sucked the blood of all the family". "Very good" said Dracula. The second bat goes and comes back after 5 minutes all her face covered in blood. Dracula astonished says, "How did you do that?" The bat replies " Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a school. I went in and drunk the blood of all the children". "Impressive" said Dracula. Now the third bat goes and comes back after three minutes literally covered in blood from top to toe. Dracula is stunned. "How on earth did you do that????" he asked. And the bat replies. "Do you see this tower?" Dracula replies with a yes. And the bat says "Well, I didn't".

by (few years ago!)
lawyer jokes

"He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his friend's family danced in his head. He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female. "What did you do that for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other!"

"Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you the Czech was in the male?"

by (few years ago!)
Jokes For Kids Cartoons

You are looking at the "jokes for kids" cartoon page from the CartoonStock directory. Follow the links on this page to search on other topics or to purchase reproduction rights for any of these images or merchandise incorporating the cartoons.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Animals - 5

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, have you got any bread? The bartender replies no, we only sell beer here, so the ducks walks out. He walks in the next day and says to the bartender, have you got any bread? The bartender says, I told you yesterday, we only sell beer, so the ducks walks out. He walks back in the next day and says to the bartender, got any bread? the bartender says, if u come in here tomorrow asking for bread I'll nail your beak to the bar, so the duck walks out. He walks in the next day and says to the bartender, got any nails? No he says, got any bread?

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?Close the door.

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

A big, buff, and burly blonde man goes into the local drug store to buy some rubbers, so that he will be able to practice safe sex with his new girlfriend.

The blonde guy walks up to the pharmacist and asks, "How much for this box of rubbers?"

"Well, condoms are $1.00 for a box of three," the pharmacist replied. "Plus seven cents for the tax."

"Oh," said the blonde man, "I wondered how you kept them on."

by (few years ago!)
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