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Dog jokes

What did the dog get when he multiplied 497 by 684?The wrong answer.

by (few years ago!) / 636 views
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A BIZARRE INTERVIEW TECHNIQUE

A man walks into a building and tells the manager that he wants to join their organization. The manager says, "Okay, but there is one rule you have to follow. You cannot get an erection while you are trying to join this group." The man says O.K.

He is stripped of his clothing. A bell is tied around his penis and he is put into a room with nine other men who are also trying to join. Then a naked woman is sent walking across the room and nine bells are quiet, and his is ringing away. The man begs for another chance and is given this chance.

The woman walks by again and again the man's bell rings again. The manager says to the man, "Pick up your stuff and go. You are unfit for this organization."

As the man bends down to pick up his stuff, the other nine bells start ringing.

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Real Men arent afraid of the dark.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What are the blondes first words after 4 years of college? A: "Would you like fries with that?"

by (few years ago!)
Wedding Dance

A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happenedbut then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs. A riot broke out, and all the invited guests were hauled off to jail.

In court the next week, the judge asked the best man what happened.

Your honor, we were just dancing, and the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs.

That must have hurt, said the judge.

No kidding, said the best man. I broke three of my fingers.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What do you get when you cross a Doberman with a bird? A Doberman fincher!

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Marriage

Wedding rings: The world's smallest handcuffs.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What does a blonde make best for dinner?A: Reservations.

by (few years ago!)
A Poo Question

A little girl walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning while her Dad is reading the paper.

"Where does poo come from?" She asks.

The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says: "Well you know we just ate breakfast?"

"Yes," answers the girl.

"Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the goodstuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the toilet, and that is poo."

The little girl looks shocked, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks: "And Tigger?"

by (few years ago!)
Questions Not To Ask In Foreign Lands

By
Gerhard Reinke

IRELAND
Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk?
This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?

FRANCE
Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Arent the French just Germans who can make sauces?

ITALY
Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-Os!

POLAND
Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?

GERMANY
Is this bratwurst kosher?

TURKEY
Wheres the hash at? Its cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?

KOREA
Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?

CHINA
This wall isnt so great.

ENGLAND
Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick?

SWEDEN
Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?

YEMEN
Yemen? Thats a stupid name for a country. Whats it mean -- Land Of Fanatics And Dust' ?

INDIA
You dont live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?

ETHIOPIA
After a long day of travel, Im famished. Hey those flies sure love your pregnant son!

CANADA
Youre like Americans without money.

SPAIN
So, this is the country thats not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?


SOUTH AFRICA
I liked it better the other way.

MEXICO
What's that smell?

SAUDI ARABIA
Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?

RUSSIA
Is it always this cold and economically devastated?

UZBEKISTAN
Can you spell Uzbekistan?

GREECE
I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy."

AFGHANISTAN
Seriously, where is the real country where is everything?

JAPAN
Whats Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?

AUSTRALIA
How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?

AMERICA
Was John Wayne gay?

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Teacher: If you have five haystacks in one corner, five in another and two in another, how many would you have ?Pupil: One big haystack !

by (few years ago!)
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