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Dog jokes

What kind of dog does a dracula like? - A: A Bloodhound.

by (few years ago!) / 620 views
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Political jokes

How can you tell if it was a shared computer used by many staffers?A: There is writing on the White-out.

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughters college education?As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, "I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money?"

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

“How long have you been working here?” one employee asked to another.
“Ever since the boss threatened to fire me.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why would a blonde wear green lipstick?A.) Because red means Stop.

by (few years ago!)
JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE

There was this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. After he didn't move for a half-an-hour, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up right next to him, took the drink from the guy, and just drank it all down. The poor man started crying.

The truck driver turned and said: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."

"No, it's not that." the man replied, "Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss became outraged and then fired me. When I left the building to my car, I found out that it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing. I then got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my whole wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener."

The man was really sobbing now, "I left home depressed and came to this bar. And now, just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, YOU show up and drink my poison ..."

by (few years ago!)
The Chair

A professor invented a lie detecting chair.

Whenever anybody sitting in it told a lie, the chair would open up and dump the liar on the floor.

During an experiment, a brunette sat in the chair and the professor asked her to tell about herself.

She began, "I think you are the best teacher Ive ever had."

The chair immediately dumped her on the floor.

After the brunette left in a snit, a blonde sat in the chair.

The professor asked her to tell something of her life.

She began, "I think -" The next thing she knew, she was sitting in the floor.

by (few years ago!)
More Computer Viruses

Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.

Tipper Gore Virus : When you attempt to play any sound file, it pops up a warning window stating that some lyrics may be unsuitable for children.

Government Ecomomist Virus : Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

New World Order Virus : Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Warren Commission Virus : Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.

David Duke Virus : Makes your screen go completely white.

Pat Buchanan Virus : Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.

Texas Virus : Makes sure it's bigger than any other file.

Adam And Eve Virus : Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Warren Beatty Virus : Constantly tries to prove it's virility by attaching itself to younger or newer files.

Airline Virus : You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

Freudian Virus : Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

PBS Virus : Your PC stops what it's doing every few minutes to ask for money.

Jimmy Hoffa Virus : Nobody can find it.

Kevorkian Virus : Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.

Healthcare Virus : Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends a you a bill for $4,
500.

LAPD Virus : It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defence".

Billy Graham Virus : When you save a file, it prints, "I am saved!" to the screen.

Michael Jackson Virus : Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This Virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.

And finally...

JokeGalore.com Virus : poses as a harmless list of funny computer Virus names! Is quickly passed from one user to all other users known via e-mail, consequently consuming all known network resources.

by (few years ago!)
Political Humor

Watch the latest spoof videos lampooning the presidential candidates and catch up on recent classics, including SNL's Clinton-Obama Ad, "The Empire Strikes Barack," "Young Hillary Clinton" and more.

by (few years ago!)
Retired Marine

A retired US Marine was looking for a new job. He finally found one that appealed to his interests. At the interview, he was asked,

"Do you have any military experience?"

The Marine replied, "Why, yes! I've been in the Marines for a couple of years."

"I see," said the interviewer, "any disabilities?"

The Marine looked at him and replied shakily. "Well... In the Vietnam War I had a grenade go off between my legs, blowing off my testicles."

The interviewer, quite shocked, said "All right, you're hired. Please report to work on Monday at 10:00am."

"Wait wait!" shouted the Marine, "When do the others start? I don't want any special treatment just because of my disability."

The interviewer replied, "Well... I'll tell you the truth. Everyone normally comes at 7:00 in the morning, but nothing gets done until 10. All we do is sit around, scratching our nuts trying to figure out what to do."

by (few years ago!)
Lawyer jokes

Three surgeons were discussing which types of patients they preferred to operate on. Doctor Waters said, "I prefer librarians. All of their organs are alphabetized."

Doctor Franklin replied, "I prefer mathematicians because all of their organs are numbered."

Lastly, Doctor Zang responded, "I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable."


by (few years ago!)
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