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Computer jokes

If Operating Systems Were Airlines

DOS Air: Passengers walk out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane
push it until it gets in the air, hop on, then jump off when it hits
the ground. They grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop
on, jump off...

Mac Airways: The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the
same, talk the same, and act the same. When you ask them questions
about the flight, they reply that you don't want to know, don't need
to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.

Windows Airlines: The terminal is neat and clean, the attendants
courteous, the pilots capable. The fleet of Lear jets the carrier
operates is immense. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushes above
the clouds and, at 20,000 feet, explodes without warning.

OS/2 Skyways: The terminal is almost empty - only a few prospective
passengers mill about. The announcer says that a flight has just
departed, although no planes appear to be on the runway. Airline
personnel apologize profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing
from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside. They tell each
passenger how great the flight will be on these new jets and how much
safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but they will have to wait a
little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems. Maybe
until mid-2005. Maybe longer.

by (few years ago!) / 576 views
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An Ailing Child

The young lady entered the doctor's office carrying an infant.

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The medic examined the child and then started to squeeze the lady's breasts.

He then unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on one nipple.

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There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. The guy said, "It's simple. I just say, I'm a lawyer."

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She said, "Oh!!!! Your a lawyer?"

He said, "Why yes I am!", so they went to his place and when they were in bed, screwing, he started to laugh to himself.

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New inventions by blondes

The water-proof towel
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Business jokes

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections fromall the private businesses that they were protecting. Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deafperson for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldnt be able tocommunicate to the police what he was doing. Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $50,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends someof their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deafcollector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector cantcommunicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter.The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where the money is."The interpreter signs, "Wheres the money?" r The deaf replies, "I dont know what youre talking about." Theinterpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesnt know what youretalking about." The hood pulls out a large gun and places it in the ear of the deafcollector. "NOW ask him where the money is." The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?" The deaf man replies, "The $50,000 is in Central Park, hidden in thethird tree stump on the left from the West 78th Street gate ." The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he still doesnt know whatyoure talking about, and doesnt think you have the guts to pull thetrigger."

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Funny Marriage Joke

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hilarious blonde jokes:

All clean political jokes and humor and blonde jokes draw their comedy from an emotion: Something in life that mortifies us or that challenges us. These terms apply to humour as found in our "cool riddles", for example. While Individual humor and blonde jokes can often end up crazy, nothing beats good comical nature. So how can I tell what cool riddles or humor and blonde jokes are best for me? Well, there's a way to find out but it will take some work. It's believable that anyone could figure out what laughability is when it comes to cool riddles or humor and blonde jokes simply by experiencing some good jokes and seeing what really works for you. But it's important to evaluate some sources of humour in order to discover what you find funniest.

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