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Computer jokes

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'.

by (few years ago!) / 538 views
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Similar Jokes

How do I get across that river?

A dumb blonde is walking along, lost, and encounters a deep and wide river. She looks up and down the river for a way across but is unsuccessful in finding one. Yet, when looking to the other side again, she happened to see another blonde on the opposite river bank. She tried calling to her.

"How can I get to the other side of the river?" she shouts loudly.

The other blonde replied "What for? You are already on the other side of the river!"

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

My husbands business is rather up and down ha
makes yo yos

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

A Texas rancher was driving through Mexico and stopped at the edge of the road to admire the scenery and a white beautiful horse caught his eye. The horse looked healthy well kept and was in a separate corral. Just for tries the Texan asked one of the workers if the horse was for sale. The worker trying to communicate said “No, no, he no look to good.” The Texan was not satisfied with the answered because he saw that the animal looked great and insisted on buying it, after a few arguments the worker arranged for the sale and the Texan took the horse back to his ranch. He rode the horse through his ranch and galloped to the barn when suddenly the horse ran right into the barn wall. Frustrated the Texan takes the horse back to Mexico and talks to the worker that sold him the horse and explains what happened. The worker said, “I told you he no look to good”

by (few years ago!)
THE THREE INCH TALL GUY


So this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Give me two single whiskies"

"Sure" the bartender replies, "do you want them both now or one at a time?"

"Oh, both now" replies the guy, "one's for me and one's for my little friend here" and with that the guy pulls a three inch tall man out of his shirt pocket.

The Bartender looked at the little man in amazement and asked, "Can he drink?"

"Sure" replied the guy and with that the three inch tall man supped back his whiskey.

"That's amazing" replied the bartender, "what else can he do? Can he walk?"

With that the guy flips a quarter down to the other end of the bar and asks the little fella to get it. Sure enough, he runs down the bar and retrieves the coin, picks it up and jogs back to the guy.

"That really is amazing" replied the bartender, "Can he talk?"

"Of course" says the guy, "Hey Jim, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you called that witch-doctor a wanker..."

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Be sure that you go straight home after schoolI cant, I live just round the corner !

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

The Ten Commandments Of EmploymentIf it rings, put it on hold.If it clunks, call the repairman.If it whistles, ignore it.If its a friend, stop work and chat.If its the boss, look busy.If it talks, take notes.If its handwritten, type it.if its typed, copy it.If its copied, file it.If its Friday, forget it!

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Youre spending a lot of time at that computer screen. Have you had your eyes checked?No, theyve always been blue!

by (few years ago!)
Driving with Penguins

A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he cant drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off.

The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo.

The man replies I did. Today Im taking them to the movies.

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes


A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making.

Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it.

The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work.

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Teacher : Tommy, put some more water in the fish tank !Pupil : Why, Miss, I only put some in yesterday and he hasnt drunk that yet !

by (few years ago!)
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