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Computers can never replace humans. They may become capable of artificial intelligence, but they will never master real stupidity.

by (few years ago!) / 537 views
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Blonde jokes

What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?A: A thought.

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Lawyer jokes

"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to her lawyer, after he had solved her legal troubles. "My dear woman," lawyer replied, "Ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that easy question."

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Family Jewels

Erik Williams, 21, of the 3600 block of South Michigan Avenue, was arrested in Chicago on May 18 and charged with sexually assaulting (forced fellatio) a 42-year-old woman.

The victim arrived at a police station in the early morning hours clutching, in her hand, testicles that she had just bitten off.

At about the same time, Williams showed up at Michael Reese Hospital missing his testicles.

Doctors confirmed that the testicles were Williams' but were unable to reattach them.

by (few years ago!)
WINDOWS XP ERROR MESSAGES

A few of the new error messages that were taken under consideration during the development of the Windows XP operating system...

• Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

• BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.

• Close your eyes and press escape three times.

• File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

• Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.

• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

• Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

• Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"

• Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"

by (few years ago!)
Bring Your Daughter to Work Day

A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has
just taken to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your
secretary. Why do you call her a doll?"

Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system and is very efficient."

"Oh," says the little girl, "I thought it was because she closed her
eyes when you lay her down on the couch."

by (few years ago!)
Lawyer jokes

A French man, an English man, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train. The French man offered everyone some French bread, then he threw it out the window. The French man said, "Don't worry we have plenty of those where I come from."

The English man offered everyone a crumpet and then he threw it out the window. The English man said, "Don't worry we have plenty of those where I come from."

The American man quickly threw the lawyer out the window. The American said, "Don't worry we have plenty of those where I come from."

by (few years ago!)
The Chair

A professor invented a lie detecting chair.

Whenever anybody sitting in it told a lie, the chair would open up and dump the liar on the floor.

During an experiment, a brunette sat in the chair and the professor asked her to tell about herself.

She began, "I think you are the best teacher Ive ever had."

The chair immediately dumped her on the floor.

After the brunette left in a snit, a blonde sat in the chair.

The professor asked her to tell something of her life.

She began, "I think -" The next thing she knew, she was sitting in the floor.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How did the blonde die ice-fishing?A. She was run over by the zambonis machine.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?A: Her ankles.

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Blonde jokes

What is the definition of gross ignorance?A: 144 blondes.

by (few years ago!)
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