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Business jokes

Three businessmen were having dinner at a club. When it came time to pay the check, each grabbed for it.
"It's a business expense," said one.
"I'll pay," said the second. "I'm on cost plus."
"Let me have it, "argued the third. "I'm filing for bankruptcy next week.

by (few years ago!) / 621 views
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Blonde jokes

What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age?A: "Today children, we will learn our ABCs"

by (few years ago!)
There was life before the computer

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!

Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account!
And if you had a broken disk,
It would hurt when you found out!

Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!

Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!

Cut--you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!

by (few years ago!)
THREE DUMB BLONDES


There were three dumb blonde guys on an island who found an old pot and started rubbing at it, when suddenly out popped a genie. The genie told them that he only could grant 3 wishes so they would each get one.

The first guy asked the genie to make him smarter so he got turned into a red-head.

The second guy wanted to be even smarter than the first, so the genie turned him into a brunette.

Then the last guy wished to be even smarter than both his friends so the genie turned him into a woman.

by (few years ago!)
A huge difference in my client's defense

The day after a verdict had been entered against his client, the lawyer rushed to the judge's chambers, demanding that the case be reopened, saying: "I have new evidence that makes a huge difference in my client's defense."

The judge asked, "What new evidence could you have?"

The lawyer replied, "My client has an extra $10,000, and I just found out about it!"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?A: Proofreading.

by (few years ago!)
True stupid story!

A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

No one ever says: "It's only a game,"
when their team is winning.

Overheard in doctor's waiting room:

I used to watch golf on televison,
but my doctor said that I needed more exercise.
So now I watch tennis

by (few years ago!)
lawyer jokes

"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.

"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.

by (few years ago!)
LOADED THREATS

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.

The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.

The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

Hysterically the blonde screams back at the husband, "Shut up! You're next!"

by (few years ago!)
Are Blonde Jokes and Yo Mama Jokes Okay for Kids

I got an email from a mom today canceling her daughter's JokesByKids newsletter subscription because we included a blonde joke and a "Yo Mama's So Fat" joke. These jokes were personally screened by me. Perhaps my assistant, who usually edits the jokes, has a higher standard. But ... what's the harm here? These jokes are "clean. " They are not suggestive or violent. But, of course, they do make fun of people. But not specific people. Are they likely to hurt a child's feelings? Am I setting a bad example by publishing these jokes?

Here are links to the offending jokes:

by (few years ago!)
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