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Animal jokes

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline for advice. The Psychic tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" "No," says his Advisor, "in her biology class."

by (few years ago!) / 626 views
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Business jokes

Two government economists were returning home from a field meeting. As with all government
travelers they were assigned the cheapest seats on the plane so they each were occupying the center seat on opposite sides of the aisle.They continued their discussion of the knotty problem that had been the subject of their meeting through takeoff and meal service until finally one of the passengers in an aisle seat offered to trade places so they could talk and he could sleep.After switching seats one economist remarked to the other that it was the first time an economic discussion ever kept anyone awake

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A family was having dinner on Mothers Day. For some reasonthe mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband askedwhat was wrong."Nothing," said the woman.Not buying it, he asked again. "Seriously, whats wrong?""Do you really want to know? Well, Ill tell you. I have cookedand cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on MothersDay, you dont even tell me so much as "Thank you.""Why should I?" he said. "Not once in 15 years have I gottena Fathers Day gift.""Yes," she said, "but Im their real mother."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?A. To remind her that "toes go in first."

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Dog jokes

Why should you never watch a video with a Chihuahua? It always plays with the "paws" button on the VCR.

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

How many men does it take to make popcorn?Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho and shake the stove.

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Bar jokes

A highly timid little man, Casper Milquetoast, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"

A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "That'd be my dog. Why?"

"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."

"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What kind of dog do you have?"

"Sir," answered the little man, "It's a four-week-old puppy."

"How could your puppy kill my Doberman?" roared the biker.

"It appears that he choked on it, sir."

by (few years ago!)
Political jokes

Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree. Tight-fisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices. Green Democrats buy a real tree with roots, and then replant it after New Years.

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School jokes

Teacher: Youre new here arent you, whats your name?Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith

by (few years ago!)
THE WITTLE WABBITS


A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"

The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What do you call a blonde holding a balloon?A: Siamese twins.

by (few years ago!)
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