Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

ANYONE FOR A CIGAR?


A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined!"

"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.

"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"

"No! The judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court."

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It really worked!"

Confidently the lawyer responded, "I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them."

"But I did send them.", replied the man.

"What?" shouted the lawyer?

"I sure did, that's how we won the case... good thing I remembered to enclose the plaintiff's business card."

by (few years ago!) / 623 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

An Orgasmic Problem

A woman went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out an outrageous yell."

"My dear," the doctor said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is," she complained, "he keeps waking me up!"

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk."Well they feel a bit tight," replies the man.The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the mans feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," the clerk says."Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth."

by (few years ago!)
Zoo jokes

A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lions mouth," the vet told him."How do I do that?" he asked Carefully replied the vet

by (few years ago!)
Lawyer jokes

Did you hear that the Unitied States Post Office had to recall
its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers?
People were confused about which side to spit on.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town, and on this special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. "Well," explained the husband, "it all goes back to our honeymoon. We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule." "We hadnt gone too far when my wifes mule stumbled. My wife quietly said Thats once. We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly spoke: Thats twice. We hadnt gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife promptly removed a revolver from her purse, hopped down off the beast, and shot the mule dead." "I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, Thats once."

by (few years ago!)
Remove one monkey from the cage

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water. After awhile, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result. Pretty soon, when any monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Again, replace a third original monkey with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, all the monkeys which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs. Why not? Because that's the way it's always been around here. And that's how company policy begins...

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license? A: "Oh, its not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. Thats disgusting!"

by (few years ago!)
Make it off the island

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?A. You can park in the handicap zone.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagement ring... Wedding ring... Suffering!!!

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

QUOTES FROM EMPLOYEE APPRAIS..

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

EAGER TO IMPRESS THE BOSS

Train

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context