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AN OCCUPATIONAL HAZZARD


A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money.

The gang was very happy to escape. "It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."

The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers... we had $100 when we broke in!"

by (few years ago!) / 595 views
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Political jokes

A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference: "Many say the only reason why you would be elected for President is due to the enormous power and influence of your father.""That notion is ridiculous!" mocked George Jr. "It doesnt matter how powerful the man is. He can only vote once!"

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

Complaint letter from Aimee:

Us blonds at the offise are sew tired of awl of the dum stoopid jokes about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this all the way to the supreme cort if we have two. Juj Thomas knos all about hairassment and he will be on are side.

We have also talked to the govner to make a new law to stop this pursicushun. We want a law that makes peepol tell brewnet jokes as much as blond jokes and every so offen a read head joke.

If we don't get our way, we will not date anybody that ain't blond and we will make up jokes about you and we will laff.

Sined by the blonds at the offise

(Pleese sine with a pensil so you can erace it if you make a mistake.)

by (few years ago!)
AN OVERWEIGHT BLONDE


An overweight blonde went to see her doctor for some advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.

The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the whole twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.

At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question:

"How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"

by (few years ago!)
Antomy Note

Mr. Perkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior college, said during class, ''Miss Smythe, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions.''

Miss Smythe gasped, then said freezingly, ''Mr. Perkins, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this.'' With that she sat down red-faced.

Unperturbed, Mr. Perkins called on Miss Johnson and asked the same question. Miss Johnson, with composure, replied, ''The pupil of the eye, in dim light.''

''Correct,'' said Mr. Perkins. ''And now, Miss Smythe, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment.''

by (few years ago!)
Zoo jokes

Zoo Keeper:"Ive lost one of my elephants"Other Zoo Keeper:"Why dont you put an advert in the paper?"Zoo Keeper:"Dont be silly, he cant read!"

by (few years ago!)
Sneaker Lawyer

Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on.The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

This blonde is so stupid, she called me to get my telephone number!

by (few years ago!)
THE LONELY FROG


A lonely frog, desparate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future has in store.

His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"

"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."

by (few years ago!)
How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many can you afford?

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

by (few years ago!)
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