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EQUAL RIGHTS


Two guys are sat at the bar. The first one says, "My wife should be on the plane now."

"Sounds nice" the other replied, "Where's she going?"

"Nowhere" says the first, "She's fitting a new bedroom door!"

by (few years ago!) / 586 views
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Similar Jokes

Business jokes

On the first day his son joined the family firm, the founder took him on to the roof of the factory building and said,I am going to give you your very first lesson in business. Stand on the edge of the roof. Reluctantly, the boy went to stand on the edge of the roof. Now, said his father, when I say, "Jump," I want you to jump off the roof. But, Dad, said the boy, theres a huge drop! Do you want to succeed in business? Yes, Dad. And you trust me, dont you? Yes, Dad. So do as I say and jump. The boy jumped. He crashed to the ground and lay there, winded and bruised. His father went racing down the stairs and ran up to him. That was your first lesson in business, son. Never trust anyone.

by (few years ago!)
Medical Jokes And Funny Stories

Last night I was going to kill myself by swallowing a handful of asprins - but after taking the first two I felt much better.

by (few years ago!)
Resume Mistakes Reasons for leaving

REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB:

"Responsibility makes me nervous."

"They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions."

REASONS FOR LEAVING MY LAST JOB:

"Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches."

"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

Why is a modem better than a woman? A: A modem doesnt mind if you talk to other modems. A modem doesnt complain if you sit and play at the computer all night. A modem will sit patiently and wait by the phone. A modem comes with an instruction manual.

by (few years ago!)
SURVEYING THE FORMER PRESIDENT


An official Gallup survey polled over 1000 women with the question: Would you sleep with Former US President Bill Clinton?

1% said, "No"
2% said, "Yes"
97% said, "Never Again"

by (few years ago!)
Although this married couple enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together...

it was the husband who was always behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he suddenly said to his wife, "Ok honey, this is a drill. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore."

She was initially surprised and flustered, but she soon settled down and was able to safely drive the boat to shore.

Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him, grabbed the remote control, switched the channel, and said to him, "OK honey, this is a drill. Pretend I'm having a heart attack. You must set the table, cook dinner, and wash the dishes."

by (few years ago!)
lawyer jokes

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the sunny Caribbean. They were discussing their great vacations when the lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Nearthe cash register he saw a display of caps with "WWJD"printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letterscould mean, but couldnt figure it out, so he asked the clerk.The clerk replied that the letters stood for "What Would JesusDo", and was meant to inspire people to not make rashdecisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in thesame situation.The man thought a moment and then replied, "Well, Im damnsure Jesus wouldnt pay $17.95 for one of these caps."

by (few years ago!)
BACK ON THE GOLF COURSE

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.

"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.

"Oh great! Now you tell me," said the beginner in a disgusted tone.

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

What did one math book say to the other?A: Man I got a lot of problems!

by (few years ago!)
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