Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

I'm on the wrong bus joke text

A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.

She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!"

The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Man, I'm on the wrong bus!

by (few years ago!) / 685 views
(Rated 5 Stars - 1 votes)
 

Similar Jokes

Punished For Something That I Didn't Do

One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that
I didn't do."

The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that
you didn't do?"

The little girl replied, "My homework."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What did the dumb blonde say when told that "Scheherezade" was composed by Rimsky Korsakov A "Whyd his mom choose to call him Rimsky of all names.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. When he was slipping in and out of a coma for several months, she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. "When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. "You know what?" "What, dear?" his wife asked gently. "I think you bring me bad luck."

by (few years ago!)
A LITTLE BOY WITH NO ARMS


There was this little boy with no arms. He wanted to ring the church bell on Sundays so he went to talk to the preacher. The preacher didn't know how he was going to do it, but he figured he would give him a shot. When they got to the top tower, the kid runs face first into the bell, no sound.

After a few moments, the kid gets up and begs the preacher for another try. The preacher tells him to do it, so the kid runs his head into the bell again, then falls out like the time before. When he gets up he again asks the preacher for another try.

The preacher just nods his head so the kid again runs his head into the bell and falls out again. By this time the bell was swinging away. When the kid stood up, the bell hit him in the face and knocked him out the window. He fell to the ground and died.

When the police came, they asked the preacher if he knew the kids name.

The preacher said," No. But his face sure rings a bell."

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outsidea Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. "America," the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. "Shes not from the States." "Yes I am." said the wife. He looked at her and asked. "Is he your husband?" "Yes." she replied. Turning to the husband, he offered..... "Ill give you 100 camels for her." The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied, "shes not for sale." After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home."

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

A man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the man cuts a fart. His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?"

The man says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead, seven to nothing."

A few minutes later the wife lets one loose. The man says to her, "What was that?"

She replies, "Touchdown, tie score."

The man lays there for about ten minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard that he shits all over the bed.

The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Half time. Switch sides."

by (few years ago!)
THE KENNEDY/LINCOLN CONSPIRACY THEORY

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.

Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were succeeded by Southerners called Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names, each consisting of 15 letters in total.

Booth ran from the theatre and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theatre.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

and finally....
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was in Marilyn Monroe.

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. Its distracting!"Caddy: "This isnt a watch, sir, its a compass!"

by (few years ago!)
Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 9

Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes

The first old drunk said, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with both hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. "By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand."

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

QUOTES FROM EMPLOYEE APPRAIS..

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Train

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

EAGER TO IMPRESS THE BOSS

Pain Killers

Blonde jokes

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context