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DOES YOUR CAT OWN YOU?

See how many yes answers apply to you.

• Do you select your friends based on how well your cats like them?
• Does your desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress?
• Do you buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month?
• Do you think it's cute when your cat swings on your drapes or licks your butter?
• Do you admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have?
• Do you sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move?
• Do you kiss your cat on the whiskers?
• Do you feed your cat tidbits from the table with your fork?
• Does your cat sleep on your head?
• Do you like it?
• Do you have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator?
• Do you watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote?
• Will you stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?
• Would you rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date?
• Do you put off making the bed until the cat gets up?
• Do you give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas?

by (few years ago!) / 807 views
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A PIED PIPER VARIATION


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"Sir, I couldn't help but notice your interest in the statue. It's only five dollars, sir, but the story behind it will cost you fifty." The man turned back around and looked in shock.

"Let me get this straight. If I buy the statue and the story behind it, I'll be paying fifty-five dollars. But if I can bear to live without the story, I'll only pay five?" The Shopkeeper grinned and nodded. Not believing what a bargain he'd got, the man quickly paid and walked out of the store.

A few moments later, he noticed that a lone rat was following him. He shrugged, and ignored the rodent, hoping it would leave. When he looked back again, some five minutes later, he saw that the number of rodents had grown to maybe fifty rats. A little nervous, he turned back to his path and continued walking.

When he looked around the third time, he saw thousands of rats following him. Horribly frightened, the man rushed to a dock overlooking the ocean and threw the statue as far out to sea as he possibly could. The rats followed the statue, sinking into the waves like stones.

The man then rushed back to the shop, elated, panicked, and still in shock. When he burst through the door, the shopkeeper gave a little chuckle. He had a smug grin on his face as he said, "I expect you've come back to buy the story." The shopkeeper held out his hand for the fifty dollars.

The customer looked confused for a second, then said. "Hell no! I wanna know if you've got a statue of a lawyer!"

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