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Snooping

Three women are discussing their teenage daughters.

The first declares: "I was so shocked last week. I was tidying my daughter's room and I found a packet of cigarettes under her pillow. I didn't even know that she smoked!"

"It gets worse than that," says the second mother. "I was tidying my daughter's room last week and I found a bottle of vodka under her bed. I didn't even know that she drank!"

"Oh, it gets even worse than that," says the third mother. "I was tidying my daughter's room last week and you'll never guess what I found in her bedside cabinet: a packet of condoms!"

I didn't even know that she had a penis!

by (few years ago!) / 735 views
(Rated 3 Stars - 1 votes)
 

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Religious Jokes

The first man, Adam, was relaxing in the Garden of Eden when God said, "Adam, how would you like someone to prepare your meals, clean your house and wash your clothes, someone that loves and adores you and will obey your every wish?"

Adam said, "That sounds pretty good, but how much will it cost me?"

God replied, "An arm and a leg."

Adam thought about it for a little while, then asked, "Well, what can I get for just one rib?"


by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends andsays with a warm smile, "I gladdened seven hearts today." "Seven hearts?" asks the friend. "How did you do that?" The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, "I performed three marriages." The friend looks at him quizically."Seven?" he asks. "I could understand six, but..." "What do you think" says the rabbi, "that I do this for free?"

by (few years ago!)
ALL IN THE NAME OF LOVE

A young man truly in love with his girlfriend decided to have her name tattooed on his penis. Her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was done while the penis was erect, so when it was not erect all you could see was W Y

Shortly after the couple was married they were honeymooning in Jamaica the man was in a bathroom in Jamaica, and standing next to him was a Jamaican man who also had a W Y on his penis.
The American said to him "Oh is your girl named Wendy too?"

The Jamaican replied, "No, Mr. that says Welcome to Jamaica Have a Nice Day

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What did the dog take when he was run down The license number of the car that hit him

by (few years ago!)
Sport jokes

What part of a football pitch smells nicest ?The scenter spot !

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

Men are like vacuum cleaners.Theyre not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes. When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and drives off. When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test. The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0. The cop says, How is this possible? The guy says,Tonight Im the designated decoy.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Marriage

Wife: What do you mean coming home half drunk at this time of night?
Husband: It's not my fault - I ran out of money.

by (few years ago!)
THE BLONDE AND THE SPORTS CAR


A Policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver's license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver's license, he asks for registration.

Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, "It's that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment."

"Ah," she says as she bends over to get it. While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer unzips his pants and pulls his member out.

Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up. A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, "Oh, no! Not another breathalizer test!"

by (few years ago!)
lawyer jokes

An anxious woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor," she asks nervously, "can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?"

"Certainly," replied the doctor, "Where do you think lawyers come from?"

by (few years ago!)
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