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Dog jokes

Where do Eskimos train their dogs ?In the mush room !

by (few years ago!) / 552 views
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Blonde jokes

What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios?A. Donut seeds.

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

A duck walked into a bakery one day and asked for a pork chop.
The baker said, "We aren't a butcher; we don't sell meat here."
So the duck left.
The following day the duck went back and asked again.
This time the Baker said, "No, if you come here again I will nail your feet
to the floor."
The following day the duck returned and asked, "Have you any nails?"
The baker replied, "No." And the duck said, "Well, I'll have two pork chops then."

by (few years ago!)
WALKING IN THE MOUNTAINS


A man was walking in the mountains just enjoying the scenery when he stepped too close to the edge of the mountain and started to fall. In desperation he reached out and grabbed a limb of a gnarly old tree hanging onto the side of the cliff.

Full of fear he assessed his situation. He was about 100 feet down a shear cliff and about 900 feet from the floor of the canyon below. If he should slip again he'd plummet to his death.
Full of fear, he cries out, "Help me!" But there was no answer. Again and again he cried out but to no avail. Finally he yelled, "Is anybody up there? "

A deep voice replied, "Yes, I'm up here."

"Who is it?"

"It's the Lord"

"Can you help me?"

"Yes, I can help."

"Help me!"

"Let go."

Looking around the man became full of panic. "What?!?!"

"Let go. I will catch you."

"Uh... Is there anybody else up there?"

by (few years ago!)
Ethnic Insults

Q. why dont blacks and mexicans ever marry?
A. their kids are too lazy to steal.

Q. why do scottsmen wear kilts?
A. sheep can hear zippers.

Q. whats the difference between a mexican and a park bench?
A. a park bench can support a family of 4.

Q. what do you call a mexican porn star?
A. inch-a-lotta

Q. whats the difference between a Jew and a birthday cake?
A. the cake doesnt scream when you put it in the oven.

Q. Did you hear that 79% of all women in the U.S. are battered?
A. And to think ive been eating mine raw the whole time!

Q. what do you call a mexican in a 3 piece suit?
A. will the defendant please rise?

by (few years ago!)
Priceless

Starting monthly salary for US Marine...$984.60

One Bradley Fighting Vehicle...$3.16 million

Humanitarian aid for Iraq...$20 billion

Kickin' back with the boys in Saddam's Palace...priceless

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Whats five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade!

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

by (few years ago!)
EXPECTING A FIGHT?


Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points to the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your Mom's the best lay in town!" Everyone expects a fight but the guy ignores him and the drunk wanders up to the end of the bar.

Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points to the same guy, and says, "I just screwed your mom and it was really sw-e-et!" Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk wanders off.

Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom even let me...."

Finally the guy interrupts, "Go home, Dad---you're drunk again!

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

What do you get if you stuff your computers disk drive with herbs?A thyme machine.

by (few years ago!)
Like Father, Like Husband?

If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.

by (few years ago!)
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