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Dog jokes

Where do Eskimos train their dogs ?In the mush room !

by (few years ago!) / 541 views
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Dog jokes

How did the dog get into the locked cemetery at night?He used a skeleton key.

by (few years ago!)
LOADED THREATS

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.

The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.

The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

Hysterically the blonde screams back at the husband, "Shut up! You're next!"

by (few years ago!)
THE YOUNG BUSINESSMAN

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

by (few years ago!)
A QUICK RIDDLE


Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it?

Nobody.

The first four don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Why did the school bully kick the classroom computer?Someone told him he was supposed to boot up the system.

by (few years ago!)
THE TALKING PARROTS


A lady approaches her priest and tells him "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship."

"Thank you!" the woman responded.

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say "Hi we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away, brother. Our prayers have been answered!

by (few years ago!)
A Quick Short Stop

Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it takes to run from first to second

Because you have a short stop between second and third

by (few years ago!)
A SMALL MISUNDERSTANDING

In a primary school classroom, the teacher notices a little puddle underneath Mary's chair.

"Oh Mary!" says the teacher, "you should have put your hand up."

"I did," Mary replied. "But it still trickled through my fingers."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

Why did the lazy person buy a tall dog? - A: So that they didnt have to bend down to pet it.

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Father: What did the teacher think of your idea?Son: She took it like a lambTeacher: Really?, what did she say?Son: Baa!

by (few years ago!)
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