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Ad Space

Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT) announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows.

Acknowledging for the first time that the average user of their operating system encounters error messages at least several times a day, Microsoft is trying to take financial advantage of the unavoidable opportunity to make an ad impression.

"We estimate that throughout the world at any given moment several million people are getting a 'General Protection Fault' or 'Illegal Operation' warning.

We will be able to generate significant revenue by including a short advertising message along with it," said Microsoft marketing director Nathan Mirror.

He also mentioned that Microsoft is intended to add banner ads into its Blue Screen of Death in the near future.

The Justice Department immediately indicated that they intend to investigate whether Microsoft is gaining an unfair advantage in reaching the public with this advertising by virtue of its semi-monopolistic control over error messages.

by (few years ago!) / 756 views
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Similar Jokes

Buying drinks at a bar

blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender.

Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."

Bartender:"What is a B and C?".

Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."

Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."

Bartender: "What's a G and T?"

Redhead: "Gin and tonic."

Blonde: "I'll have a 15."

Bartender: "What's a 15?"

Blonde: "7 and 7"

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Computer jokes

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office jokes

Memo 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude. When planning Friday's wardrobe, remember image is a key to our success.

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Religious jokes

Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing inTransylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, outof nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the carand hisses at them through the windshield."Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Mary Agnes, "What should wedo?""Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of theabomination," says Sister Mary Vincent.Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock themini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissingat the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts."Try the windshield washer. I filled it with holy waterbefore we left the Vatican," replies Sister Mary Vincent.Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windshield washer. Thevampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs onand continues hissing at the nuns."Now what?" shouts Sis ter Mary Agnes."Show him your cross," says Sister Mary Vincent."Now youre talking," says Sister Mary Agnes. She thenopens the window and shouts, "Get the hell off our car!"

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Blonde jokes

A man was trimming his bushes. His neighbor (the blonde) walks out, checks her mail only to see that its empty, and goes back inside.Five minutes later, she comes back out, checks her mail again only to see that its still empty, and goes back in.The third time she comes out, the man asks her, "Excuse me, is there a problem?"The blonde replies, "Darn right theres a problem! My computer keeps on telling me Ive got mail!"

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Marriage jokes

A little kid comes running into the backyard.He says, "Pop! Pop! Ma just got hit by a bus!""Son, you know my lips are chapped. Please dont make me smile."

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THE RABBIT AND THE SNAKE


A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other.

The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit.

He says, "Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet..."

The rabbit says, "I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!" Then the rabbit feels the snake.
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The Retirement Party

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"We will always remember you," etc.

Obviously the boss was not satisfied. "I need something from the bottom of your heart, something really touching, you know. Okay, John, you have been working with me for the last 20 years. You are my best staff. I am retiring now. What do you have to say?"

Slowly but firmly, John wrote, "THE BEST NEWS IN 20 YEARS."

by (few years ago!)
TOUGH MICE

Three mice were sitting at a bar talking about how tough they were. The first mouse slams a shot and says, "I play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into one on purpose and as it is closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it 20 to 30 times." And, with that, he slams another shot.

The second mouse slams a shot and says, "That's nothing. I take those poison bait tablets, cut them up, and snort them, just for the fun of it." And, with that, he slams another shot.

The third mouse slams a shot, gets up, and walks away.

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The third mouse stops and replies, "I'm going home to shag the cat.

by (few years ago!)
CLINTON LANDS A ROLE IN STAR WARS

Who knew the Jedi Mind Trick could work on 250 million people all at once?"

"She's my sister?!? Well, back on my home planet of Arkansas, that ain't an obstacle!"

"Luke, I am your father. Obi-Wan, I'm your father, too. And that Queen chick? I'm her daddy for sure. And Leia's. And Lando's, and Boba Fett's, and Jabba the Hutt's, and Chewie's, and..."

"Wretched hive of scum and villainy? Woo-hoo, count me in!"

"I did not have sexual relations with that wookie, Ms. Chewinsky."

"Oh-h-h, you're looking for a little *WOOKIE*... Well, that's different."

"Cholesterol does not concern me, Admiral. I want that Big Mac -- not excuses."

"I think the American people would like a little more bass in my theme music."

"Well, it depends on your definition of 'father', Luke."

"Sorry about that lightsaber, Sugar. Just consider it laser dental work."

"Dispose of that troublesome young Jedi, Vince Skyfoster -- and make it look like a suicide."

"These are not the droids you're looking for, Ma'am. Say, it's getting hot in here -- you might want to take off your top."

"I *absolutely* support the use of droids in the military... Okay, now I don't."

"It's a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away -- and I'm still a lyin' weasel."


by (few years ago!)
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