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Dog jokes

What is the dogs favourite city ?New Yorkie !

by (few years ago!) / 551 views
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Men jokes

How are men like carpet tiles?If you lay them properly the first time around, you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

by (few years ago!)
Don't Know and Still be Right

A young man named Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American too, with the same qualifications had applied for the same job and both were asked to take a test by the manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men had only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job."

"And why?" asked Murphy. "We both got 9 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!"

"We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."

"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"

"Simple," replied the manager. "On question 5, the American put down, 'I don't know.' You put down 'Neither do I.'"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What does a blonde owl say?A: What, what?

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

A blonde and a brunette are sky-diving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord - nothing happens.She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.The blonde jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?

by (few years ago!)
Going crazy with confusion

A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, "How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?" He got the following reply.

"Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter.

My dad came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her. And so my stepdaughter was now my stepmother. Soon, my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy's brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy's wife.

So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my daddy, she was at once my stepmother! Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle. As you know, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother's mother. Don't forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter. Remember, too, that I am my wife's grandson.

But hold on just a few minutes more. You see, since I'm married to my step-grandmother, I am not only the wife's grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather. Now can you understand how I got put in this place?"

After staring blanky with a dizzy look on his face, the psychiatrist replied: "Move over!"

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Teacher: What time do you get up in the morning ?About an hour and a half after I arrived at school

by (few years ago!)
Gender Jokes Children Jokes Age Jokes Blonde Jokes

1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens as much as talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

by (few years ago!)
True stupid story!

A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What do you call a blonde sky diving team?A: A new version of the lawn darts game.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?A. To remind her that "toes go in first."

by (few years ago!)
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