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Chaos

There was a doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist sitting around late one evening, and they got to discussing which was the oldest profession.

The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam's rib.

This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the oldest profession in the world.

The engineer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible that stated that God created order from the chaos, and that was most certainly the biggest and best civil engineering example ever, and also proved that his profession was the oldest profession.

The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, and with a sly smile responded, "Yes, but who do you think created the chaos?"

by (few years ago!) / 698 views
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101 Dumb Blonde Jokes or is it 100 Dumb Blond Jokes

It does not matter is if it is 100 Dumb Blond Jokes, or 101 Dumb Blonde Jokes, all the blonde jokes I have listed are the absolute best blonde jokes that I have ran across since I first started this website on AOL in 1994

Oh yeah. Glad you stopped by. To any blondes who may be offended by my 101 Blonde Jokes Section: Get over it! The majority of the blonde jokes came from blondes! Besides, I'm a blonde too. (Or is that blond?)

Also found here is political humor, general humor other nonsense that I have ran across

My contributors are my best source of material, so feel free to contribute.

I have a stack of jokes about a 2 feet high (no kidding) and will have a better idea what to add after I weed out the bad ones and categorize the rest.

I appreciate all contributions. I find that 95% of the ones sent in to me I already have. Don't let that stop anyone from sending in theirs. I read them all and put the good ones in my "To Add At A Future Date" file and the exceptional one I add right away.

This 101 Blonde Jokes website was my very first attempt at creating a website, and while I have upgraded it several times, I spend the majority of my time writing and promoting other websites (the ones that make me money). I still enjoy a good joke, though, and enjoy sharing them with others, so I eventually come back and do some work on this, my first and favorite, website.


by (few years ago!)
THE MAGICAL DANCING DUCK

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some negotiations, they settled on a figure of $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"

"So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There" says the vet,” Your hamster is dead". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet. Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be £1000, please". "A £1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man. "Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".

by (few years ago!)
Ladder

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

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Because she went to High School

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.” The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.” “Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle. “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.” She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said “How well can you do?” “Ummmm...I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever. “My, my,” said the Poodle. “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.” She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?” The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says...
“Liver alone. Cheese mine.”

by (few years ago!)
How have times changed?

In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar.

Since then, weddings have been held there, and times haven't changed at all!

by (few years ago!)
Political Humor under Stalin: an Anthology of Unofficial Jokes and Anecdotes, edited by David Brandenberger (Bloomington: Slavica, forthcoming

Political Humor under Stalin is an anthology of jokes, wisecracks and satire from the Soviet 1930s and '40s that provides a glimpse of everyday dissembling and dissent in one of the modern world's most repressive societies. More than merely a joke book, Political Humor under Stalin offers no less than a counter-narrative to the "official" history of the USSR, spread across ten thematic chapters that have been fully annotated for maximum accessibility. Political Humor under Stalin also features a ground-breaking introductory discussion of the culture of joke-telling under Stalin, analyzing the nature of the era's political humor and the context within which jokes were (and were not) told. The first book of its kind, Political Humor under Stalin addresses a long-neglected subject in Soviet cultural and social history that promises to attract considerable attention in the interdisciplinary field of Russian studies.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise ?A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper !

by (few years ago!)
My girlfriend is out in the car

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man's friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside.

He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend. The fellow staggered outside to the car, saw his buddy and his girlfriend kissing, then walked back into the bar laughing.

"What's so funny?" the bartender asked.

"That stupid Dave!" the fellow chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"

by (few years ago!)
Reasonable Doubt

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defenses closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all, the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.

He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally the lawyer said, Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty. But how? inquired the lawyer. You must have had some doubt, I saw all of you stare at the door.

The jury foreman replied: Oh, we looked, but your client didnt.

by (few years ago!)
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