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Dog jokes

What is a dogs favourite food ?Anything that is on your plate !

by (few years ago!) / 588 views
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Gates and Lightbulb

Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to change the lightbulb??
A: None. He just calls a meeting & makes darkness the standard.

by (few years ago!)
office jokes

An executive was in quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, either Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work. He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go.

Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take a couple of aspirins and the executive approached her and said, "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."

Debra replied, "Could you please jack off? I have a terrible headache."

by (few years ago!)
Too Funny :: Blonde Jokes !!

A new blonde employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password. No, it's not the usual caps-lock problem.



"The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows

stars," she says.



"Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password."





"Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me."





Once a Blonde was traveling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the Blonde deserved more service.

So, when the Blonde fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Blonde was woken up, and he went home.



Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.



What is the matter?" Says his wife.



He replied, "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else.

by (few years ago!)
True stupid story!

A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

A man was very proud of his guard dog, he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the world his house was guarded. One day a woman knocked at his door. "Is that your big dog outside -Wondering how she had got past him he said "Yes why?" She said Im sorry but my dog just killed him!" "What??" Roared the man "What kind of dog have you got??" "A Peke" Replied the woman. "A Peke??? how could that little thing kill my big fine guard dog?" "I think it got stuck in his throat!" Replied the woman.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 3

Why did the Blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A: Because it said concentrate.

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?Close the door.

by (few years ago!)
A PLAUSIBLE EXPLANATION


One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he said, "Excuse me God, can I ask you a few questions?"

God replied, "Go on Adam but be quick. I have a world to create."

So Adam says, "When you created Eve, why did you make her body so curved and tender unlike mine?"

"I did that, Adam, so that you could love her."

"Oh, well then, why did you give her long, shiny, beautiful hair, and not me?"

"I did that Adam so that you could love her."

"Oh, well then, why did you make her so stupid? Certainly not so that I could love her?"

"Well, Adam no. I did that so that she could love you."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What is a dogs favourite flower ?Anything in your garden !

by (few years ago!)
What's Your Name?

It was the first day of the school year and the first grade teacher was asking her students their names. "What's your name?" she asked a little girl in the front row.
"Happy Butt," the little girl cheerfully replied.

"Honey, I don't think that's your name. I'd like you to go to the principal's office to get this straightened out," said the teacher.

So, the little girl went to the principal's office and he asked, "What's your name?"

"Happy Butt," she answered.

The principal phoned the little girl's mother to get this cleared up once and for all.

As soon as he hung up the phone, he looked at the litte girl and said, "Your name is Gladys, dear, not Happy Butt."

"Glad Ass, Happy Butt, what's the difference?" exclaimed the little girl.

by (few years ago!)
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