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Dog jokes

What is a dogs favourite food ?Anything that is on your plate !

by (few years ago!) / 595 views
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Blonde jokes

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Would you mind coming over and helping me out with this killer jigsaw puzzle I bought -- I cant figure out how to get started."Her friend asks, "Whats the puzzle of?""From the picture on the box, Id guess its a tiger," replied the blonde.The friend obliges, and when he arrives the blonde greets him at the front door and then shows him the puzzle spread out all over the table.He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. Then, he turns to her and says, "Im afraid that no matter what I do, Im not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of the tiger on the box.""Why not?" asks the disappointed blonde."Because, you didnt buy a jigsaw puzzle... what you have here is a box of Frosted Flakes."

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections fromall the private businesses that they were protecting. Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deafperson for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldnt be able tocommunicate to the police what he was doing. Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $50,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends someof their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deafcollector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector cantcommunicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter.The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where the money is."The interpreter signs, "Wheres the money?" r The deaf replies, "I dont know what youre talking about." Theinterpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesnt know what youretalking about." The hood pulls out a large gun and places it in the ear of the deafcollector. "NOW ask him where the money is." The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?" The deaf man replies, "The $50,000 is in Central Park, hidden in thethird tree stump on the left from the West 78th Street gate ." The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he still doesnt know whatyoure talking about, and doesnt think you have the guts to pull thetrigger."

by (few years ago!)
How many lawyer jokes are there?

How many lawyer jokes are there?

Just two, all the rest are true.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing inTransylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, outof nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the carand hisses at them through the windshield."Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Mary Agnes, "What should wedo?""Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of theabomination," says Sister Mary Vincent.Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock themini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissingat the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts."Try the windshield washer. I filled it with holy waterbefore we left the Vatican," replies Sister Mary Vincent.Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windshield washer. Thevampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs onand continues hissing at the nuns."Now what?" shouts Sis ter Mary Agnes."Show him your cross," says Sister Mary Vincent."Now youre talking," says Sister Mary Agnes. She thenopens the window and shouts, "Get the hell off our car!"

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What should you do if you find an angry 500 pound dog in your kitchen Eat out.

by (few years ago!)
Jokes And Funny Stories About Marriage - 5

A man's on his deathbed with his wife sitting near him. He says "Dear wife, I must confess certain things to you before I die." She says, "Hush now, husband, you're fading fast."
He says, "But this is really important, I must tell you so I can die with a clear conscience! I slept with your best friend, your sister, and your mother!"
She says, "I know, that's why I poisoned you."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What is a blondes definition of a naval destroyer?A: A hula hoop with a nail in it.

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

Two guys are hiking in the forest when they suddenly come across a big Grizzly bear! The one guy takes off his hiking boots and puts on some running shoes!
His friend says to him "You're crazy! There's no use, do you know how fast Grizzlies are, you'll never be able to out run it!" and the guy says, "I only have to out run you!

by (few years ago!)
Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes

Why didn't the Blonde have any ice cubes for her party?
A: She lost the recipe.

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

How do you confuse a man?You dont - theyre born that way.

by (few years ago!)
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