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Dog jokes

What do you get when you cross a Doberman with a bird? A Doberman fincher!

by (few years ago!) / 601 views
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Sport jokes

blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning.Finally the pro askes her what she wants. "I cant find any green golf balls," the blonde golfer complains.The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls.As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, "Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?""Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

How did the dogs owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?He foamed at the mouth.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage Jokes

Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence....(a life sentence!).

Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering.
A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".

There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.
Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels."

by (few years ago!)
Lawyer jokes

If I had but one life to give for my country, it would be a lawyers.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage quotes 02

Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar? A: Ok you 2, dont start anything

by (few years ago!)
Saving Her Butt`

A man decided to paint the toilet while his wife was away. His wife came home sooner than he expected, used the toilet, and got the seat stuck to her rear. She was understandably distraught about this and asked her husband to drive her to the doctor. She put a large overcoat on to cover the seat before they went.

When they got to the doctor's office, the man lifted his wife's coat to show him their predicament. The man asked, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?"

"Well, yes," the doctor replied, "but never framed."

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didnt know where the Rockies were.Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?A: Some traffic signs say stop.

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

The racecar driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face.

by (few years ago!)
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