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Dog jokes

What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?"Well, doggone !"

by (few years ago!) / 509 views
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Similar Jokes

Pop Machine

A blonde was at a pop machine and she kept putting dollars in and she kept getting a pop. A man walked past her and said what are you doing? and the blonde said im winning!

by (few years ago!)
TOUGH MICE

Three mice were sitting at a bar talking about how tough they were. The first mouse slams a shot and says, "I play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into one on purpose and as it is closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it 20 to 30 times." And, with that, he slams another shot.

The second mouse slams a shot and says, "That's nothing. I take those poison bait tablets, cut them up, and snort them, just for the fun of it." And, with that, he slams another shot.

The third mouse slams a shot, gets up, and walks away.

The first two mice look at each other, then turn to the third mouse and ask, "Where the hell are you going?"

The third mouse stops and replies, "I'm going home to shag the cat."+

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didnt get taller
girls

by (few years ago!)
Misc Jokes

There were two Jewish women, Ruth and Golda, walking along the street. Ruth says to Golda, "My son, Irving, is finally getting married. He tells me he is engaged to a wonderful girl, but he thinks she may have a disease called herpes.

Golda says to Ruth, "Do you have any idea what this herpes is, and can he catch it?"

Ruth answers, "No, but I am just so thrilled to hear about Irving's engagement. It's past time he's settled. As far as the herpes goes, who knows?"

"Well," Golda says, "I have a very fine medical dictionary at home. I'll look it up and call you."

So Golda goes home, looks it up, and calls Ruth "Ruth, keinahurra (thank goodness!), I found it. Not to worry! It says herpes is a disease of the gentiles!"

by (few years ago!)
Women Jokes

A woman finds a genie's lamp. The Genie comes out and says, "You may have three wishes, but your husband will get ten times more than what you wished for."

The woman agrees. Her first wish was that she would be the most beautiful woman in the world. "You realize," the Genie said, "that your husband will be ten times more beautiful than you, and more women will gawk at him?"

"That's okay," says the woman, "He'll only look at me because I will be the most beautiful women." So the wish is granted.

Her second wish was that she would be the richest woman in the world. "You know your husband will be ten times richer, right?" the Genie asks.

"That's okay. What's mine is his and what's his is mine," replied the woman. So the wish was granted.

The woman then thinks long and hard about her last wish. She finally wishes that she had a mild heart attack.

by (few years ago!)
Fancy

What do you call a mentally disabled person in a fancy suit?

Mr. President.

by (few years ago!)
THE BLONDE AND THE SPORTS CAR


A Policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver's license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver's license, he asks for registration.

Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, "It's that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment."

"Ah," she says as she bends over to get it. While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer unzips his pants and pulls his member out.

Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up. A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, "Oh, no! Not another breathalizer test

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

Remember, an alcoholic & a drunk are not the same thing at all.The alcoholic has to attend meetings.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

My dog is great at math. Really ? Ask him how much is two minus two. But two minus two is nothing! Thats what hell answer, nothing!

by (few years ago!)
Zoo jokes

There was this truck driver who had to deliver 500 penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, his truck breaks down. After about 3 hours, he waves another truck down and offers the driver $500 to take these penguins to the state zoo for him.The next day the original truck driver arrives in town and sees the new truck driver crossing the road with 500 penguins walking in single file behind him.The original truck driver jumps out of his truck and asks, "Whats going on? I gave you $500 to take these penguins to the zoo!"The new truck driver responds, "I did take them to the zoo. And I had enough money left over so now were going to see a movie."

by (few years ago!)
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