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Dog jokes

How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?Put him in your back yard.

by (few years ago!) / 619 views
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Educational jokes

Did you ever notice?
When you put the two words
"The" and "IRS" together
it spells "THEIRS"?

by (few years ago!)
TESTING TIMES


A man walks into a bar with a monkey he had just bought at the pet store. He sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The monkey jumps down off his shoulder and runs over to the pool table and ate the cue-ball.

The bartender says "Your monkey just ate the cue-ball! GET OUT NOW!" so the man picks up the monkey and leaves.

Two months later the same man comes back with the monkey on a leash. The monkey jumps off his shoulder and grabs a peanut, shoves it up his ass, pulls it out then eats it.

The bartender says " Did your monkey just shove a peanut up his ass then eat it?"

The man says "Yeah ever since the cue-ball incident he checks everything for size

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

Where did the burgers go after their wedding?On a bun-eymoon!

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

A caller, perplexed that his new desktop computer--the one that was supposed to do everything short of bringing on world peace - was doing nothing, cried out for help. No problem, the IBM technician said. First, open a "window" to launch a specific program. The conversation continued, and the caller asked a few moments later if it might be all right to close the window. Why, the IBM technician asked. Because, the caller responded, it was getting very chilly.

by (few years ago!)
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One; the lawyer holds it while the rest of the world revolves around him.

by (few years ago!)
Men & Women Jokes

These are a collection of men women jokes, gender jokes that make fun of the other gender, men women relationship jokes, single married, couples, dating, honeymoon, in-laws jokes children girlfriend jokes, boyfriend jokes & husband and wife confrontation jokes.

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932 The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel I invested that nickel in an apple I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents."The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which Id accumulated a fortune of $1.37.""And thats how you built an empire?" the boy asked."Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wifes father died and left us two million dollars.

by (few years ago!)
Beer Bottle

One day, a blonde was left alone in a lab with a beetle. She examined it and decided to do an experiment.

She pulled off one of its legs, then asked it to run. The beetle obeyed her command.

Then, she pulled off a second leg and asked it to run. It did, but with a lot of difficulty.

Finally, she pulled the remaining legs off and asked it to run. It couldn't.

"I have made a new discovery!" the blonde cried. "When you pull all of a beetle's legs off, it becomes deaf!!"

by (few years ago!)
Shortage of parachutes

A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane.

The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.

The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped.

The pope told the brunette to take the last one.

The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!"

by (few years ago!)
JESUS IS WATCHING YOU


A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search.

Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage.

He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes."

He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses."

The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"

The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".

by (few years ago!)
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