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School jokes

When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?Because there are no pupils to see!

by (few years ago!) / 553 views
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Men jokes

There were 11 people hanging on to a single rope that suspended them from a helicopter trying to bring them to safety. Ten were men; one was a woman. They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they didnt, the rope would break and all of them would die. No one could decide who it should be. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving things up for their husbands and children and giving in to men. All of the men started clapping.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How did the blonde die ice-fishing?A. She was run over by the zambonis machine.

by (few years ago!)
AN OCCUPATIONAL HAZZARD


A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money.

The gang was very happy to escape. "It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."

The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers... we had $100 when we broke in!"

by (few years ago!)
lawyer jokes

Ninety-nine percent of lawyers
give the rest a bad name.

When a lawyer tells his clients that
he has a sliding fee schedule,
what he means is that after he bills you,
it's financially hard to get back on your feet.

God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. When Satan heard this, he laughed and said, "And exactly where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"

by (few years ago!)
Beautiful

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.

His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!"

Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute."

She said "What happened to 'beautiful'?"

His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How do you confuse a blonde?A: You dont. Theyre born that way.

by (few years ago!)
First Official Joker Picture

The first official photo of Heath Ledger as the Joker from the upcoming Batman Begins sequel has finally been released. The picture was revealed, pixel by pixel, at the Joker’s vandalized Harvey Dent campaign site (here is the original one), after enough people entered their e-mail addresses and special code.

So what do I think of the Joker’s new look? I love it. I really like how his huge grin comes from the grotesque scar he has from cheek to cheek. The updated look fits perfectly with the more realistic take on the characters from the first film. Well done.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

Which dog tastes better when eaten?A hot dog.

by (few years ago!)
School jokes

Fred: Ive added these figures ten times. Teacher: Good work! Fred: And here are my ten answers !

by (few years ago!)
Don't give us a bad name

There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "It's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

by (few years ago!)
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