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School jokes

Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth!Pupil: What?, and get bitten!

by (few years ago!) / 533 views
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Similar Jokes

Pass the Exam

A pretty young college student visited her professors office after class. She glanced down the hall, closed his door and knelt before him. I would do anything to pass this exam, she said. Leaning closer,she whispered seductively, I mean, anything.

He looked down at her and said,anything?

Anything she replied again.

His Voice softenend. Anything, he repeated.

She smiled, and again said, anything.

His voice turned into a whisper. Would.You..Study???

by (few years ago!)
Top ten signs that you are too drunk

10. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the Earth.

9. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

8. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

7. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

6. You can focus better with one eye closed.

5. You fall off the floor.

5. The whole bar greets you when you come in.

4. You haven't had a driver's license in such a long time that you have forgotten what one looks like.

3. Roseanne looks good.

2. You don't recognize your wife/husband unless seen through bottom of glass.

1. You spent more time on the floor than you do standing up.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the womans face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldnt graft the skin from her body, so the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor found suitable would have to come from his rear end. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the womans new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you d id for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." "My darling," he replied," think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

by (few years ago!)
Kids Bear Jokes

We are always in the process of updating our Bear Jokes. If you have one or more that you especially like and you don't see it here. Drop us an email.

by (few years ago!)
Zoo jokes

There was this truck driver who had to deliver 500 penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, his truck breaks down. After about 3 hours, he waves another truck down and offers the driver $500 to take these penguins to the state zoo for him.The next day the original truck driver arrives in town and sees the new truck driver crossing the road with 500 penguins walking in single file behind him.The original truck driver jumps out of his truck and asks, "Whats going on? I gave you $500 to take these penguins to the zoo!"The new truck driver responds, "I did take them to the zoo. And I had enough money left over so now were going to see a movie."

by (few years ago!)
computer jokes

. Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, your PC would get "Ferklemmt."

2. When you fill up your "C-drive", you will get a "Hard Drive is Shtupped" message.

3. Hanukkah screen savers will have "Flying Draydles."

4. Your PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.

by (few years ago!)
Lawyer jokes

A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. "Which side is it best to lie on?" she asked."The side that pays your fee," replied the doctor.

by (few years ago!)
kid jokes

A little boy went to his teacher to tell her he found a frog.
The teacher asked if it was alive or dead.
The little boy said that it was dead.
The teacher asked how he knew.
The boy said , "I pissed in its ear."
The teacher said, "You what?"
He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'psst!' and it didn't move. So it must be dead."

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

The racecar driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face.

"What's the matter! Didn't I satisfy you when we screwed?" he asked.

by (few years ago!)
Misc Jokes

Dear Abby,
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

by (few years ago!)
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