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School jokes

Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didnt know how to spell cat so I told her"

by (few years ago!) / 530 views
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Similar Jokes

President George Bush raps

Video is so funny, I’ve watched it 3 times in a row and I still didn’t have enough. U.S.A. President George Bush raps about his situation in the United States politics and all it has happened since he was elected.
“Curious George, like the monkey” FUNNY. W-hizzie, “G to the W B your president number 4 3″. YOU HAVE TO SHARE THIS WITH EVERYONE YOU KNOW, IT’S THAT FUNNY.

by (few years ago!)
JOKES - Differences Between Men and Woman

Men, you may think you have a command of the English language, but when it comes to communicating with women, you may be surprised. Here is our dictionary of Womanese. Master these terms and you'll find your relationship with women greatly improved.

by (few years ago!)
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR BOSS

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

by (few years ago!)
Marriage jokes

What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?A. Shoot him again.

by (few years ago!)
What will the neighbors think?

Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave when the following took place.

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What should you do if you find an angry 500-pound dog in your kitchen?Eat out.

by (few years ago!)
Funny Animal Jokes

A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out.

Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before.

About an hour later the two birds march back in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!'

The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what's happening.

She followed them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen.

She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was kept repeating, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."

by (few years ago!)
Lawyer jokes

What do you call an honest lawyer?An oxymoron.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring.He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle anda banner that said N I L. White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymnsto The Great Nullity ,The Blessed Emptiness, and The Big Zero inthe Sky. Morris turned to a white-robed observer beside him and wispered,.... ...... "Is Nothing Sacred?"

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What has got four legs and an arm? - A: A Rottweiler in a playground

by (few years ago!)
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