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School jokes

Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didnt know how to spell cat so I told her"

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Difference between lawyers and buzzards?

What's the difference between lawyers and buzzards?

Lawyers have removable wing tips.

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

How many Real Women does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: A Real Woman would have plenty of Real Men around to do it.

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boys mind, sat him and said: "God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white."To which the child responded, "Well, then is God Michael Jackson?"

by (few years ago!)
Inspirational Office Slogans for the New Millennium - Part I

If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.

If you think we're a bad firm, you should see our rivals!

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings - they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

A person who smiles in the face of adversity, probably has a scapegoat.

Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here.

We make great money! We have great benefits! We do no work! We are union members!

Two days without a Human Rights Violation!

If at first you don't succeed - try management.

It's only unethical if you get caught.

by (few years ago!)
Women joke

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die. I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket; his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and the rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband." The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him." "You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?

"I sure did" said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

by (few years ago!)
Enjoy our collection of Funny Blonde Jokes

Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in."

The second blonde said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in, either."

The third blonde said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it."

"Very good!" said St. Peter.

The blonde continued. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball."

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?He wears a coat and pants.

by (few years ago!)
A NEW NAVIGATION TECHNIQUE

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into the Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out.

He began circling around looking for a landmark. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with a guy working alone on the fifth floor. He banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy, "Hey where am I?"

The man replies, "You're in an airplane." The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to perform a perfect blind landing on the airport runway 5 miles away.
Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out. The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it.

"Quite easy," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore, that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just five miles due East.

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

Contrary to what people say, you can indeed drink to relax.Of course sometimes, you get so calm, you cant move.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What do you say to a Blonde that wont give in?A: "Have another beer."

by (few years ago!)
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