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Blonde jokes

Did you hear about the blonde coyote?A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

by (few years ago!) / 409 views
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Two IT Guys

Two IT guys were chatting in a pub after work. "Guess what, mate," says the first IT guy, "yesterday, I met this gorgeous blonde girl in a bar."

"What did you do?" says the other IT guy.

"Well, I invited her over to mine, we had a couple of drinks, we got into the mood and then she suddenly asked me to take all her clothes off."

"You're kidding me!" says the second IT guy.

"I took her miniskirt off, and then I lifted her and put her on my desk next to my new laptop."

"Really? You got a new laptop?"

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a week, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

by (few years ago!)
AN OUTSTANDING STUDENT

blond girl comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! It's good, innit?"

"Yes darling, very good."

"Is that because I'm blond?"

"Yes darling, it's because you're blond."

Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K ! It's good "innit?"

"Yes darling, very good."
"Is that because I'm blond, mummy?"

"Yes darling it's because you're blond.

Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her impressive 36 D's at her mummy. "Is that because I'm blond, mummy?"

"No darling, it's because you're 25."

by (few years ago!)
Religious jokes

Why did God create man before woman? A: He didnt want any advice.

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double.The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

hy is it good to have a blonde passenger?A. You can park in the handicap zone.

by (few years ago!)
Breast Milk Advantages

The student - not necessarily a well-prepared student - sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper.

The question directed:

"Give four advantages of breast milk."

What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble

whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:

1. No need to boil.
2. Cats can't steal it.
3. Available whenever necessary.

Um. So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a four-part answer.

Again, what to write?

Once more he sighed. He frowned. He scowled. Then sighed again.

But suddenly, he brightened.

He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly scribbled his definitive answer:

4. Available in attractive containers.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?A: She fell out of the tree.

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?"The girl says, "I dont like this song, but even if I did, I wouldnt dance with you."The guy says, "Im sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."

by (few years ago!)
kid jokes

A little girl was eating a doughnut on her way to church. Since she could not eat inside, she left it outside and she prayed," God, will you please watch my doughnut and not go anywhere else? Thank you!" Then she went inside. When the priest said," God is here, God is there, and God is everywhere!" The little girl said,” You are wrong! God is outside watching my doughnut!"


by (few years ago!)
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