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Animal jokes

A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making.

Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it.

The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work.

Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success.

So, he said, "Look. Let's both get on top."

At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said: "Zoo or no zoo. I just gotta see this."

by (few years ago!) / 878 views
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John & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, "Im very sorry officer, I didnt realize it was out, Ill get it fixed right away."Just then Jessica said, "I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed." So the officer asked for Johns license and after looking at it said, "Sir your license has expired." And again John apologized and mentioned that he didnt realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning. Jessica said, "I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired." Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, "Jessica, will you shut up!" The officer then leaned over toward Jessica and asked. "Does your husband always talk to you like that?"Jessica replied, "only when hes drunk."

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The man then asked the
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