Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

Jokes And Funny Stories About Animals - 4

A woman seated at the movies was surprised to find, sitting in the two adjacent seats, a man with his arm around a sheep dog. All through the movie, she noticed the dog watching the picture with apparent understanding snarling when the villain appeared, yelping happily at the funny parts. At the end of the movie, she tapped the man on the shoulder. "I just can't get over how much your dog enjoyed the movie," she said. "It surprises me too," the man answered, "He absolutely despised the book."

by (few years ago!) / 686 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

I think that I'm a chicken

Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

by (few years ago!)
CLINTON'S BIGGEST BILL


President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him.

"What is it?" exclaims the President.

"It's the Abortion Bill, Mr. President - what do you want to do about it?"

"Just go ahead and pay it."

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

One afternoon, two women were sitting at a bar discussing their love lives. One woman looked at the other and said, "You know, 80 percent of all men think that the best way to end an argument is to make love."

"Well," said the other woman," that would certainly revolutionize the game of hockey!"

by (few years ago!)
blonde jokes

A shapely young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair. So she decides to go to a gun shop and buys a handgun.

The next day the blonde comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.

The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with his blonde wife not to shoot herself. Hysterically, the blonde responds to her husband, "Just shut up! You're next."

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

What Do you tell a woman with two black eyes ?Nothing, you told her twice.

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Maam, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposur Why, officer asks the blonde."Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed Oh my goodness,exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the busy

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Tech Support: "How may I help you today, sir?" Customer: "Hello...hey, er...I think Ive got the wrong software installed in my computer." Tech Support: "Why is that, sir?" Customer: "I bought this minitower system from you, and it came loaded with software called the XYZ Desktop." Tech Support: "Yes...?" Customer: "Shouldnt it be called the XYZ Minitower? I OBVIOUSLY have the wrong software installed in this computer."

by (few years ago!)
Bar jokes beer booze and fun

Recently scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men twelve bottles of beer each. The scientists observed that 100% of the male test group gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldnt drive.No further testing is planned.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

A man and his dog went into a pub. The barman said "Sorry mate no dogs allowed in here!" The dog said "Oh please dont be like that, Im trained and I wont cause any trouble!" The bar man was astonished at the talking dog and sat and chatted with the dog and its owner. After a while the owner went to the toilet and the barman saw his chance for a prank. He said to the dog "Would you do me a favor as a wind up, will you go down to my friends bakers shop and order a loaf of bread??" "Sure!" Replied the dog. The bar man gave the dog a fiver and the dog left.When the owner came out of the toilet he went into a panic when he saw his dog had gone. The barman said "Its ok hes gone down to the bakery for me" The owner was livid "It IS NOT OK hes never been out on his own, anything could happen to him he could get run over.The owner spent the next hour searching for his dog, walking the str eets frantically. As he was walking he heard strange noises coming from an ally way, he went down and there was his dog having its wicked way with a lady poodle. "ROVER!" Shouted the owner "Youve had me worried sick, whats the matter with you youve never dissapeared like this before!" The dog replied "Ive never had a fiver before!"

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

COMPUTER TERMS - TEXAS TRANSLATION:
LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter.
LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the wood stove.
DOWNLOAD: Gettin' the farwood off the truck
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin' the farwood
FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
RAM: That thing tha splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE: Gettin' home in the winter time
PROMPT: What the mail ain't in the winter time
WINDOWS: What to shut when it's cold outside
SCREEN: What to shut when it's black fly season
BYTE: What them dang flies do
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP: What's in the bottom of the munchie bag
MODEM: Whatcha did to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife
LAP TOP: Where the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD: Where ya hang the dang truck keys
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knives
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn
MOUSE PAD: That's hippie talk fer the mouse hole
MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn roof
ENTER: Northerner talk fer "c'mon in, y'all"
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya can't 'member what ya paid fer the rifle

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Train

Desert Island Email

QUOTES FROM EMPLOYEE APPRAIS..

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Pain Killers

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context